Plus: Beyonce, Rachel Sennott, a Mona Lisa scandal and a snow pea stir fry
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Big Mortadella
New gift guide additions just dropped! (Ours, not Gwyneth Paltrow's)

- Alyx Gorman and Michael Sun
We can't stop talking about...
You've been Mona Lisa-ing wrong
Art attacks  
You've been Mona Lisa-ing wrong
Say hello to the Isleworth Mona Lisa, which some argue is the younger, hotter (?) and – critically – original version of the world's most famous painting. Our critic's take? 'Completely lacking in personality.'
Found marvel  
A €100m Botticelli painting, which fell off the radar for 50 years, has been found sitting around getting grubby in someone's house.
Lost marbles  
Meanwhile, the UK and Greece are in a full-blown diplomatic snit over whether or not London should give Athens its statues back.
Goop garbles  
The addition of a $15,000 solid gold vibrator to Gwyneth Paltrow's annual gift guide has led one writer to wonder: is her life a work of performance art?
Cook this
Snow pea stir-fry
Snow pea stir-fry
Alice Zaslavsky shares her cure for a soggy stir-fry: a blanch-and-batch approach that works wonders, even without a wok.
Extremely online
Extremely online
Spotify Wrapped told everyone they were gay, but especially the residents of Berkeley, Burlington, and Cambridge – all homes, apparently, to queer communes of Boygenius fans. Spare a thought for this honorary Canberran (derogatory); spare no thought for Apple Music users (derogatory) – though of course the most ethical thing is to stop streaming completely.

Good food: Big Mortadella, big ramen, and the year celebrity meal deals got big. Good reads: Rosamund Pike got spiky and Jesse Armstrong got deep. Cicadas are too loud and campus novels are fantasy now; blame the cost of living crisis. Anyway, here’s Bethenny Frankel

A reminder: you do not, under any circumstances, have to pour one out for this guy.

The funniest things on the internet
Elliot Ulm shows us his tabs
Elliot Ulm shows us his tabs
His list includes several human-sounding animals and one animal-sounding human.
Top of the list
A film – bad gays  
What if American Pie replaced stinky boys with sassy lesbians? What if they were played by Rachel Sennott and The Bear’s Ayo Edebiri? What if they started a fight club to get laid? Bottoms is a new flavour of gross-out teen sex comedy. In cinemas.
What if American Pie replaced stinky boys with sassy lesbians? What if they were played by Rachel Sennott and The Bear’s Ayo Edebiri? What if they started a fight club to get laid? Bottoms is a new flavour of gross-out teen sex comedy. In cinemas.
Another film – glitter haze  
Move over Barbenheimer: Beyoncé dropping her tour film weeks after Taylor Swift is enough to propel a million cinemas. Renaissance: A Film showcases a joyous, jaw-dropping concert – spliced together with intriguing tidbits from Beyoncé off-duty. In cinemas.
Move over Barbenheimer: Beyoncé dropping her tour film weeks after Taylor Swift is enough to propel a million cinemas. Renaissance: A Film showcases a joyous, jaw-dropping concert – spliced together with intriguing tidbits from Beyoncé off-duty. In cinemas.
A book – end of days  
The Future, the new book by decorated British author (and Margaret Atwood protege) Naomi Alderman, is set in a dystopia that's an awful lot like the present, "just with fancier gadgets". It's about three tech tycoons facing the apocalypse: twisty, tongue-twisting, and thrilling.
The Future, the new book by decorated British author (and Margaret Atwood protege) Naomi Alderman, is set in a dystopia that's an awful lot like the present,
A show – stasi says  
You know a show's got something going for it when Mick Jagger agrees to sing the theme tune. Funny and excoriating, Slow Horses is the best spy show since The Americans, and the players are just as dirty. Season three's out now on Apple TV.
You know a show's got something going for it when Mick Jagger agrees to sing the theme tune. Funny and excoriating, Slow Horses is the best spy show since The Americans, and the players are just as dirty. Season three's out now on Apple TV.
This week's weirdest story
... and other contraceptives of yore
Sheep intestines, metal rods, leather loincloths  
... and other contraceptives of yore
Reader beware.
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