Dear Loser, Aspiring Loser or General Hanger-On: “My small hands will get bigger — honestly, magnificent! — as long as I salute the one who controls my every move.” We swear, they're his own words -- right from his inaugural address! This week's Style Invitational contest: Choose words from anywhere in that address (we link to a transcript) and write something funny with them. And we have the winners of our biennial "joint legislation" contest, like this honorable mention: If Rep. Andy Barr, Rep. Angus King and Rep. Don Bacon cosponsored a bill, it could be: The Barr-King-Bacon proposal to restrict genetic engineering on animals. Plus 38 more unnatural acts. In my supplementary column The Style Conversational, I discuss the new contest and results, and share (all the way at the bottom where you can safely avoid them) some totally unprintably tasteless legislation. This week's Invitational: http://bit.ly/invite1214 This week's Conversational: http://bit.ly/conv1214 — Pat Myers, Empress of The Style Invitational pat.myers@washpost.com ADVERTISEMENT   Connect with The Invitational •   On Facebook •   Entries and ideas •   Contact the Empress •   Past contests •   Contest rules Recommended for you   At Home Creative ideas for home and garden, in your inbox weekly. Sign Up »         Share The Style Invitational:       Twitter      Facebook Trouble reading? Click here to view in your browser. You received this email because you signed up for The Style Invitational or submitted an entry. For additional free newsletters or to manage your newsletters, click here. We respect your privacy. If you believe that this email has been sent to you in error or you no longer wish to receive email from The Washington Post, click here. Contact us for help. ©2017 The Washington Post 1301 K St NW, Washington DC, 20071