| The biggest regret many people have when they're on their deathbeds or when looking back at their life up to this point is not lost lovers. It's friends who drifted away. I know this because I've heard it from them. Lovers come and go, and when they go it's usually for a good reason: you broke up, someone betrayed someone else, you found another person to love, etc. But most friendships wither away for entirely illogical, unexplainable reasons. You don't get rid of friends because you have a new one. That's not how friendship works. You can stack friends much higher than lovers. There's almost no limit to friends, or at least almost no one hits that limit. It starts with a little neglect. Misplaced neglect, that is. Some people worry that the other person is sick of them, that they're "calling too much." Nonsense. People are social beings. We want to be with our friends. We love dinner parties, hikes together, hanging out for no real reason at all. Some people forget to respond to texts. They put it off for a few days, and then a few weeks, and then a couple months, and then your friendship isn't really a friendship anymore. Some people worry that having friends will mean neglecting the rest of your life, particularly your family (spouse and kids). Also nonsense. Getting away with your pals for a few hours on a regular basis, or even a longer trip away, is the key to a happy home life. Absence really does make hearts grow fonder. Absence makes a person realize what they have when they're away. It's the greatest way I know to stop taking someone else for granted: let them leave for a few days and you start missing what they bring to your life. Friends are special. They are additive to your life. Friendship and romantic love exist on different spectrums, different planes. One doesn't detract from the other. And sometimes you need to visit that separate plane of existence. Friendship is powerful. It can bridge ideological, political, religious, and ethnic divides. Being friends is about the friendship itself; even if a friendship began out of mutual benefits or business dealings or whatever, it becomes something wholly unique and self-sustaining. So today, if you have an old friend you haven't kept up with, give 'em a call. Drop them a line. Shoot a text. Keep that line of contact with the Friendship plane intact. Do you have old friends you regret losing contact with? Let me know all about it in the New and Noteworthy comment section. | 