"Brothers": t.ly/uhISi

This is not a typical rock autobiography. You know, we went there and did this. Tales of debauchery as we ride the road to success, delivering gossip along the way.

No, this is the story of an immigrant family...

That does not resemble my own an iota.

I'm the same age as Alex Van Halen. I grew up in the suburbs outside the metropolis too. But it was all about education and fulfillment, the ride to success. In retrospect, we were buying insurance, our parents didn't want to have to worry about us when we grew up, they wanted us to have professions, steady incomes, a middle class life, they didn't want to have us risk it all for a brass ring that very few can grasp.

Now the tonality of the book...

Someone pointed me to an Ariel Levy interview where Alex didn't come across like this at all:

t.ly/6j6rT

He seemed somewhat warm.

But in this book, he comes across cold and direct and it's almost an affectation, it's hard to like this guy. It's akin to his old bandmate Sammy Hagar's book, in that it was written in Sammy's voice. But is this really Alex's voice? I've never met Alex, I knew Ed a little bit. But Ed was always the quiet, smiling one. Ed could be warm, but Ed could be suspicious. Then again, if you've made it to the top in rock and roll you've been screwed, and you're worried about getting screwed again.

So what we've got is the Van Halen family taking a ship from the Netherlands to New York and ending up in Pasadena in an 800 square foot house whose bills were paid by...

Their father, a musician.

Not a star, a working musician.

And their Indonesian mother comes from the upper crust and insists they take piano lessons.

And their father takes them to gigs, has Alex playing drums when he's barely hit double digits.

This is not the upbringing of the average American. Even the average successful American musician. This is not about seeing the Beatles, buying a guitar and having a dream... Music was in their blood.

And Eddie focused on playing the guitar.

If you've ever seen Ed's guitar up close, you're stunned not only that he built it, but that he ever took it on stage, it appears so fragile.

But Alex makes a good case for Eddie's tinkering. They came from nothing, they had to make do with what they had, the concept of improving the mediocre so it could be great was in their DNA. This isn't your typical teen getting a Stratocaster and being afraid to touch it.

What you get here is the Van Halen sensibility.

And a ton of musician philosophy.

One could argue that the star of the book is the Van Halens' father. Who is constantly dropping wisdom. Reminded me of my own father, who wasn't always engaged, but his drips of philosophy, they've stuck with me, I employ them to this day.

The Van Halens were taught that it was a show. First and foremost it had to be entertainment, you had to read the crowd, get people up and dancing. And Alex goes on about how it's not the notes played, the actual music at a gig, but how the performance makes the audience feel. Which is damn true. Ever hear the audio of a gig you were at that you loved only to find the music was substandard?

So they're making their way and Alex graduates...

And works in a machine shop. There was no future. No path to success. It all had to be eked out gig by gig.

And this whole paradigm no longer exists. Forming bands in high school, playing parties... Kids who are truly interested go to the School of Rock, as for parties, they've got deejays, no one wants to listen to mediocre covers, never mind originals.

Of course there are some still trying to do it. But they're not ignorant like the Van Halen brothers, who hire someone who works for the label as their manager and then their road manager as his replacement, getting a terrible label deal in the process.

And it's not about the trappings... It's about the music, the show. Whatever money they do make they plow back into the show.

Where they blow household names, their heroes, off the stage.

But "Brothers" is not an endless recitation of star experiences. Yet the story of Ozzy Osbourne shooting decoys in his pond is pretty good.

Rather, this is a story of struggle, us vs. them.

And David Lee Roth looks good.

I know, I know, that seems impossible, with all the ultimate fights and breakup.

But Roth knows how to entertain. He's got vision. And those lyrics...

Ted Templeman wants to kick Diamond Dave out of the band, because he can't sing. But Alex knows...it's all of them or nothing. I was taught this in music management, a group is an entity, fire one person and oftentimes you kill the entire act.

And they're struggling and struggling, playing covers at Gazzarri's, and then they play the Starwood and get signed.

Let me tell you, Van Halen were not a secret in Los Angeles. You'd see their name on marquees all over town in the seventies, when it was all about signed bands, not local bands. We were not in the hinterlands, we could see name brand entertainment every night, who was going to go to a show to see someone the labels passed over?

I certainly didn't. And in truth, buzz was more about the outside, left field bands, than the more meat and potatoes Van Halen.

And the first time I saw them was when they opened for Nils Lofgren at the Santa Monica Civic, a gig Alex actually mentions in the book. Can you imagine Nils Lofgren headlining? What can I say, it was a different era. And Van Halen hit the stage totally out of tune with the Lofgren audience and Dave was doing his Jim Dandy routine and...it was almost laughable.

But then we heard "Runnin' With the Devil" on KROQ. First, the Gene Simmons demo, and then the finished product from the debut album. It's a one listen smash. It's got everything, the changes, the dynamics, the whoops, the ENERGY! That's what Van Halen was selling, they amped it up to 11 and then...who knows what would happen.

The girls came out, and Alex's mother didn't approve of them.

And Valerie Bertinelli showed up and Roth never got over it, didn't even go to the wedding reception.

It's the little things that break up bands. And the amazing thing is Alex knows this, when many don't.

As for Eddie... What you learn most about is the relationship between the two. Edward spoke through his guitar, Alex steered the ship. And they hated interviews so they let Dave do them, who ultimately got drunk on the effort and...

Alex takes a few shots here. Talking about how Ted Templeman didn't really understand their brown sound, and refused to put "Jump" on an earlier album, NO KEYBOARDS!

They don't want you to grow, they want you to remain the same.

As for being pissed that Eddie played on "Beat It"... I don't think it hurt the underlying band to the degree Alex does. In truth, I'd like to have heard Ed on more records in more styles. Van Halen did one thing, but Ed could do a lot more.

And seemingly half the book is a cut and paste job, quotes from other books and interviews.

And Sammy Hagar is not mentioned by name. Hell, the whole story ends when Dave goes solo, to his detriment. I've heard why Alex has a bug up his ass about Sammy...who knows if it's the truth. And I agree, the quintessential Van Halen is with Diamond Dave, but "Best of Both Worlds" from "5150"? ASTOUNDING!

And most people have two personalities, the one on stage and the one off. But some don't, like Gene Simmons and David Lee Roth. And it can be hard to live with them, although Alex cuts Dave a lot of breaks in this book.

So do you need to read "Brothers"?

Well, if you're an aspiring musician, I heartily recommend it, there's truth in here, articulated in a way that I've never seen a successful musician say it before.

And you'll get a sense of what it was like for Alex and Ed growing up.

But you won't get what happened backstage in Cleveland, endless radio interviews and chart numbers, groupie stories. Those are another book, which Alex will probably never write. It was a different era, in many ways not looked upon so fondly today. Hell, it looks like the Menendez brothers may go free! From laughable pariahs to being embraced in a culture where abuse is exposed and...

It was a long, long time ago. That's another thing you'll realize reading "Brothers." Not only was Van Halen not part of the first wave of modern rock and roll, which began with the Beatles, they were not one of the AOR bands of the early to mid-seventies. No, Van Halen came after that.

And now that entire world is gone. Rock bands don't top the chart, rappers and solo women do. Raunch is out of favor. But if you go back to those Van Halen albums the bedrock was Eddie Van Halen's guitar. Sure, he could play. But that's only half the battle. How do you write so it's palatable, so it hits the listener in the gut and head at the same time, without looking like you're showing off.

There's power in those Van Halen records. They remain.

Eddie does not.

Alex can't play drums, he uses a cane to walk.

And it's one thing to replace a vocalist, quite another to replace the guitarist of the band, the true talent in Van Halen, the one of a kind Eddie Van Halen.

There was a moment there, and it wasn't so short, when Van Halen was everywhere.

I won't say they're nowhere today.

Then again I will say, if you were there...

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