"The creative process is a process of surrender, not control."
- Julia Cameron, author & screenwriter
Hey, it's Rachelle here...
Over the weekend, one of my kids was making bath bombs, a fun sensory project that comes with a slew of ingredients, takes up a ton of room, and potentially gets everywhere.
Seeing all the ingredients flow from cabinets and onto the dining table, my mind bluntly asked, "Hey, who's going to clean this up?" while my heart was saying, "Hold on now! Go with it - we're having a great time here!"
Thankfully my heart won out, but not without a small battle with my noisy mind.
In moments like this I'm reminded to channel Julia Cameron's wise words:
"The creative process is a process of surrender, not control.
Mystery is at the heart of creativity. That, and surprise."
When it comes to my own creative projects, I'm pretty great at releasing control.
But, when my kids pull out all the stops in our shared spaces, I sometimes need a reminder to put the brakes on squashing their fun for the sake of keeping a clean house.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, try these two tips to release control.
1. Follow your child's lead. When children lead the way, we get a window into what lights them up, which usually has a way of helping us get excited about getting behind their ideas. Ask them what they're excited about: Why do they want to do the project? What ideas do they have? What do they want to experiment with? When we hear their enthusiasm, we get excited and are reminded why creative activities are so worthwhile. And then it's easier to go with the flow.
2. Practice saying "yes, and..." This is a cool improv hack that works great when we want to let go of control. If our inclination is to say "no" and we're not used to saying "yes" in these moments, our first stab at it might be a "yes, but..." as in, "Yes, we can do this, but I want you to wear an apron/cover the table/stay away from paint." Phew, that's a lot. The "but" is a problem because it really comes off as a friendly-ish "no." Instead, take a deep breath, and say something like, "Yes, and which apron do you want to wear?" or "Yes, and can I help you cover the table?" or "Yes, and let's work together to find some good paints to use." Doesn't that sound better? It takes some practice, so give it a go and see how it feels the next time you try it.
Message me back if you try one of these tips. I'd love to hear how it goes.
By the way, exciting news that we're opening the Schoolhouse doors for new members in a few days.
Keep an eye out for more on that soon.
All my best,
Rachelle :)
Founder, TinkerLab