What I hear from people about their relationship |
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Dear Do,
I wrote you yesterday about relationship. I wanted to add something really interesting I've seen in my work.
One of the reasons I am so fascinated by this whole relationship piece is that it is a place where it turns out most people have low expectations – but deny it.
I came to realize this in the course of offering discovery sessions – which are simply sessions in which I work with someone to get clear about what their specific gremlin voices are inside, that keep them from moving forward in the way they want to. As part of the process, we go through several areas of life, and talk about what it’s actually costing them to carry that voice.
An example would be a voice that says, “You’ll never amount to anything.”
So I ask: What’s the cost of that voice, in terms of your career? Easy to answer: big cost. What’s the cost in terms of your health? Easy answer: big cost.
Then I would ask, and what’s the cost in terms of your closest relationship? In your marriage, with your life partner?
And almost universally, people will say: “Oh, in that area, I am so lucky. I have a great partner who supports me, who believes in me, that area is really good.”
You can’t believe how many times I have heard that.
So – since I have heard it so often, I go on to ask another question:
“That is great, I love hearing that. And I wonder, how different would it be, how much more would be possible, if you were not carrying that voice?”
And it opens up some very interesting floodgates. All of a sudden, tears flow. Jaws drop. They get to see/feel how much potential is being left on the table…how much more extraordinary the relationship could be.
That moment creates a beautiful new level of wondering about - and the beginning of reaching for - what really is possible.
That is what I am reaching for, both in my life as a whole, and in this new program I am offering – Creating Magnificent Relationships.
I want to change the vision, the conversation and the subsequent actions around what is really possible.
This is very different than coming to a relationship training because you think there’s something wrong to fix.
This is not about a fix. This is about saying – yes, it’s good right now. And because it is so good, what more is possible?
I believe there is a breathtaking amount possible in our relationships. Our relationships with one another, with the individual elements of our lives, and with the Earth and life itself.
I hope you will join me in reaching for and exploring what is possible, for us as human beings. How magnificent can we be together?
You’ll find the details of the program right here: http://scoutwilkins.com/creating-magnificent-relationships/
Warmly, Scout
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