The Finale: Black Women OWN the Conversation | OZY's Top 10

Quinn Bartlett struggled with her weight and abuse from her mother. At 37, her search for love and acceptance is ongoing.

It was always about my weight.

Everybody always made it about my weight, and I was always depressed because of it. I would start different fad diets to please everybody around me, but I would always fail because I was doing it for the wrong reasons.

People would always tell me, “Hey, you’re pretty … for a big girl.”

African American women are taught to be strong, and they’re internalizing that strength when it comes to mental health.

Black mothers and aunties for generations have told their Black daughters that they’re beautiful, and have warned them to ignore the whispers — when the world would ridicule and objectify them for their bodies, their strength, their hair. Those little girls grow up to be strong Black women, or at least aspire to be, and their Black elders smile an approving smile.
Knowingly — but oftentimes unknowingly — the elders are trying to prepare their daughters for a world in which Black women disproportionately experience violence at home, at school, on the job and in their neighborhoods, not to mention institutionalized racism. “Be strong,” the elders say. Be a “strong Black woman,” despite the odds.
But some research indicates that, for better or worse, Black women are internalizing that strength when it comes to mental health. In fact, research indicates that African American lesbian and bisexual women have far lower odds of depression than their white and Latina counterparts.

At a one-of-a-kind town hall in Atlanta, Black women opened up about their perceptions of beauty.

Angel feels beautiful today, but she didn’t always. Her mother, who showered her with material goods but not verbal affection, never talked to her about such “girlie” things as appearance — and it took Angel until her 20s to embrace her beauty.

Kayla grew up hating her dark black skin because her mom had. “I was bullied so hard, even by family members,” Kayla said, noting that as a mother to a fair-skinned child she feels a special responsibility. “I have to instill in my daughter that beauty inside,” she said. “I had to instill that in myself because I didn’t have that [growing up].”