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I wrote this a year after my surprise separation - nearly seven years ago.
It’s strange to read it back. It includes raw truths about the control I faced during my two-decade-long marriage. I sometimes wonder if the damage I received has forever blocked me from having a future partner, like an obvious warning sign that says, "Stay away from that one, yikes!”
Surely not. I hope not. I have to hope not.
I recently asked a friend I once dated, “What is pushing men away from me? I need raw, no-holding-back honesty.”
He said, “Your confidence.”
There are too many thoughts and feelings to process before I write about that answer. I will only say this:
I am confident.
A confident woman who also struggles with loneliness and wanting to be loved.
Perhaps there’s a misconception that both cannot exist simultaneously, but they do.
Brave face. Armored skin. Heart bleeding.
Anyway, to that first anniversary…...
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