Dear reader,
If we’re to believe what we see on Tiktok and reality TV, Protein Diet Coke—equal parts DC and vanilla-flavoured nutrition shake—is the latest trend in drinks that are both good and really bad for you at the same time. It’s a sort-of healthful take on Dirty Soda, a super-sugary concoction that mixes a base of pop with things like syrups and sweet cream over pebble ice. Both of these beverage creations were gifts from Utah’s alcohol-abstaining Mormons. The general consensus is that the unsweetened, high-protein version tastes kind of like a Coke float…but that it should be chugged before the two incompatible liquids start to separate.
And then there’s Gatorwine, the seemingly unholy combination of Gatorade and red wine, because why replenish your electrolytes the morning after when you can start now? The recipe calls for inexpensive wine and specifically Glacier Freeze Gatorade (the light-blue one). It sounds awful but I can’t knock something I haven’t tried. So—despite the fact that I started writing this newsletter at 8:30 yesterday morning—I made myself a nice glass of Gatorwine. I just happened to have a bottle of Cool Blue on hand (not quite Glacier Freeze, but close enough), as well as some mediocre red wine. It seemed somehow serendipitous.
To start, I chilled both the wine and the Gatorade for about 20 minutes—I don’t really know why, but it seemed like the right thing to do. I did not use one of our good wine glasses, however, because that felt very wrong. I poured approximately two shots of each into a tumbler, which resulted in an unappealing swampy murk. On the nose, notes of fruit punch—the sports drink really shines through. And on first sip: memories of that one Purple Jesus I drank during Frosh Week mixed with the tears of the grapes used to make this particular shiraz and a blue-raspberry slap on the finish. It is shockingly bad. (Disclaimer: Cool Blue is not exactly light blue in colour, it’s more of a Smurf shade but I wasn’t about to go out and buy Glacier Freeze, and I don’t feel the need to redo this experiment.) No need for a wellness check, folks, I had a couple sips of the stuff and then switched back to water. The rest of the wine will be incorporated into kalimotxos this weekend, because Coca-Cola and subpar red wine is a thing. Let’s call it a new Thanksgiving tradition.
Toronto bartender Evelyn Chick has a better idea when it comes to balancing the good (antioxidants) and the bad (booze). In this week’s Table Talk, the owner of Parkdale snack bar Simpl Things spills the tea on cocktails made with loose-leaf genmaicha and sakura.
Also in this week’s newsletter, everything there is to eat and drink at David Schwartz’s new deli-inspired steakhouse on Ossington. Plus, the story behind Yan Dining Room, chef Eva Chin’s new neo-Chinese dinner series.
For more of our food-and-drink coverage, visit torontolife.com or subscribe to our print edition.
