These days, scams seem to lurk around every corner—and in every spam message in your inbox. Nobody likes falling for them. But our aversion to feeling cheated is so deeply engrained that it makes us less likely to trust people, which can come at a cost to our health and wellness, writes Tess Wilkinson-Ryan, author of Fool Proof: How Fear of Playing the Sucker Shapes Ourselves and the Social Order―and What We Can Do About It, in a new piece for TIME.

Here are three ways to keep your skepticism healthy and not harmful:

• Let the right ones in. Refusing to trust real people can be a recipe for isolation. “It’s one thing to refuse to click on a sketchy email, but another to refuse a helping hand, a leap of faith, or a promising investment,” Wilkinson-Ryan writes.
• Don’t let being careful stand in the way of being charitable. Helping others can be as good for the giver as the receiver. But people’s distaste for scams makes them think twice about financial generosity—even if charitability is part of their moral compass.
• Remember, cooperation can be a good thing. “People afraid of playing the fool will stay away from compromises and collaborations that they actually value,” Wilkinson-Ryan writes.

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