“I love it,” Karen Stiller said, admiring her elderly friend’s necklace at a church breakfast. Wooden beads and tiny carved elephants danced on the woman’s collarbone—it seemed like a piece of jewelry with a story.
“Thank you,” the woman replied, tapping one of the small elephants. “I can’t think of the word.”
Stiller, knowing her friend’s mind is growing fragile as she ages, offered to help her find the missing vocabulary. Her friend explained that she’d rather find the word herself, so they stood quietly together as she journeyed through the archives of her mind. She didn’t find the word. Stiller didn’t press her, change the subject, or fill the silence. Eventually, they were called to eat. Stiller and her friend smiled, shrugged, and took their places in line.
“Our conversation was not productive,” writes Stiller. “We didn’t solve a single thing … and counting by the clock, it was not a success. But at church, a waste of time can be a work of love.”
Stiller’s story prompts us to ponder the moments when we feel rushed to fill silence or space. The next time we find ourselves wanting to hurry a conversation along or add one more task to the to-do list, may we remember that, sometimes, saying or doing nothing at all is a choice that honors God and one another.
