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Item one: It’s about damn time

So Donald Trump has been indicted on seven counts related to the classified documents he took to Mar-a-Lago, the charges reportedly including violation of the Espionage Act, making false statements, and obstruction of justice. Here are some other things we know, and some things we don’t know.

 

We know: This is historic. A never-before development for a 247-year-old democracy that has historically shown extraordinary deference to its presidents and ex-presidents. Trump and his defenders will twist this to suggest that he’s being attacked by a weaponized “deep state.” On planet Earth, it means that Trump singularly may have (even he is still presumed innocent!) violated laws and norms that everyone else followed.

 

We know: There is a real and undisputed record of Trump ignoring polite requests from the FBI to cooperate in their investigation into the matter, and later stonewalling the bureau when it decided it had to stop being polite.

 

We know: Despite Trump’s ridiculous protestations, his flagrant disregard of classification laws makes this case very different from those of Mike Pence and Barack Obama and, most saliently, Joe Biden. Biden’s situation has not yet been resolved, and that may take some time. But it seems likely that some aides made some mistakes, and that’s what the probe will find, as it just did with Pence (I’m obviously no fan of Pence, but he, like Biden, is not a blatant lawbreaker). It will be important to keep pounding on this distinction, because Trump will hammer on it.

 

We don’t know: precisely what these seven counts entail and spell out. Obstruction of justice is reportedly present in them. And that’s the big deal—if Trump had said OK, you’re right, sorry, and returned the documents? Probably no case.

 

We don’t know: what’s in the documents Trump kept.

 

We don’t know: how seriously he may have compromised U.S. intelligence gathering or sources.

 

We don’t know: when this may go to trial. In federal court in Washington, it takes a year. In south Florida, it could all happen much faster, on the “rocket docket.” The Manhattan judge on Trump’s first indictment, brought by Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg, has already set a March 24 trial date—the thick of the later presidential primaries. What if this goes to trial around the same time? And remember, there is probably at least one more indictment coming, down in Georgia.

 

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The key thing here is what’s in the documents. That’s where public opinion will say: Yes, this was a justified and necessary action by the federal government, or no, this is political. We know that about 35 percent of the country will view this as a witch hunt. I think a bit more, say 45 percent, will view it as justified. But that leaves 20 percent—a 20 percent that includes a lot of Trump voters. U.S. special counsel Jack Smith, who seems like one bad dude, knows what’s in the documents. I doubt he’d uncork an indictment if they featured talking points of condolence for the ambassador of Mongolia upon the death of the head of state.

 

In other words: What Trump did here is alarming, in terms of law and process. It’s also, maybe, an open-and-shut case. Former Attorney General Eric Holder told MSNBC’s Chris Hayes on Thursday night: “This is not a particularly difficult case.” That may be, legally. But politically, the American people will want to see that what Trump did was genuinely reckless. My bet is that Smith has that political horse sense. We’ll soon see.

 

But the bottom line here, and the One Big Thing that we know above all else? Donald Trump has had this coming. For years. This feels like justice knocking on the door.

 

It’s not just that he mocked and ignored the law for decades when he was in the skuzzy world of New York real estate, although it is that, to some extent. But it’s much more: He became, by means fair or foul, the president of the United States. Presidents have obligations to the people—all the people—that no one else in our system has. They have to, or certainly should, embody the best of our traditions. They should, like Biden does, genuinely and from the heart venerate the Americans who gave their lives for this country. I have very mixed feelings about a lot of our wars. But I want the president, who by the by is also the commander in chief, to humble himself before the memory of people who died in them. I do not want him to call them suckers and losers, as Trump did.

 

And they have to revere the law. This has been a given, throughout our history—until Trump. Well, Dick Nixon, but once he was caught, he too admitted he was wrong and surrendered power. Only Trump knows and respects no law. He got away with that when he was in the inherently sleazy business of slapping his name on casinos. But the presidency of the United States is not an inherently sleazy business. Or at least it’s not supposed to be. Trump made it that. If there is any justice left in this country, he will die in a jumpsuit that matches his cratered skin.

 

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Item two: I guess I overestimated Kevin McCarthy

Well, serves me right for taking Kevin McCarthy seriously for five minutes. Last week, it seemed that the House speaker had pulled it off. He behaved like a responsible politician, negotiating with the opposition and striking a deal and saving the country from default. He did all that, and his right flank seemed like it wasn’t even going to bother to rise up against him.

 

That was then. This week, the Jacobins stormed the castle, and now the extremists are in open revolt. They crossed their speaker on a mundane rules vote of the sort that is never an occasion for controversy, and in doing so, the restive righties sent the signal that they can tie up anything they want (the appropriations bills, Ukraine aid). This House shows every sign of being the worst and least effective in many years, which is saying something.

 

And McCarthy’s speakership? It could last the whole term. It could be numbered in days. Literally—it would not surprise me to wake up tomorrow and see that Chip Roy or Andy Biggs or one of those wackos has filed a motion to vacate and McCarthy will be out next week, or at least that there will be a vote that will be uncomfortably close and show him and the world that he’d better not think he can make one more compromise with a president they all believe took some phantom eleventy-jillion-dollar bribe.

 

This is all very encouraging, in 2024 terms. If a thrice-indicted Trump is the nominee, he will alienate most of America. A dysfunctional House where Marjorie Taylor Greene looks reasonable—and that’s the dynamic that is being set up: Steve Bannon this week called for her to be primaried because she backed the debt deal—will alienate them further. And 2024 may finally be the year when those famous swing voters figure out what an extremist, corrupt, un-American organism the Republican Party is.

 

 

 

Item three: LIV and let die

 

Golfers always complain about “the gods of golf,” as in, you hit a beautiful chip shot (they’re the hardest shots in golf, generally) of the sort you rarely manage and leave yourself a three-foot uphill putt (uphill means easier in golf, since you don’t have to worry about gravity carrying the ball six feet past the cup)—and then you miss the putt. That’s the gods of golf, laughing at you for thinking for two minutes that you were good.

 

Well, the other gods of golf have just handed Joe Biden a great campaign issue if he chooses to use it. The PGA-LIV merger is a golden, can’t-miss opportunity to take a stand against monopoly (on which this administration has been better than any since LBJ), corporate piggery, Saudi Arabia, smirking greedheads like Phil Mickelson, and smirking greedheadism in general. The Justice Department is reviewing the matter. Justice was already poking around the PGA for potentially uncompetitive practices. And now this? It’s a political Christmas gift. And Donald Trump is gleefully on the other side (a “big, beautiful, and glamorous deal,” he crowed the other day).

 

You may dismiss this. But I’m telling you. People who care about sports care about them with far more passion than they care about tax rates. Opinion among weekend duffers, I’m confident, is strongly against this merger. Lots of those people are not natural Biden voters. He can make some inroads by making this an issue. And if he doesn’t, we’ll know why: The Saudis are already hinting about production cuts that could raise the price of oil right before the election.

 

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Quiz time!

Last week’s quiz: June is bustin’ out all over. A quiz about summertime traditions in the U.S. and beyond.

 

1. What was America’s first vacation hot spot, after the publication of a book in 1869 that sent city dwellers flocking to the region and enthused of it: “No axe has sounded along its mountainsides, or echoed across its peaceful waters … the spruce, hemlock, balsam, and pine ... yield upon the air, and especially at night, all their curative qualities.”

A. The Berkshires

B. The Adirondacks

C. Cape Cod

D. The Poconos

Answer: B, the Adirondacks. The book is Adventures in the Wilderness; Or, Camp-Life in the Adirondacks, by William Henry Harrison Murray. The biggest question I have here is about the author’s parents, who seem to have named their precious newborn son after a president who died after just one month in office.

2. The U.S. gives schoolchildren about a 12-week summer break. Which of these European countries offers schoolchildren a longer summer break than the U.S., and which shorter?

A. France

B. The U.K.

C. Spain

D. Poland

Answer: It’s a trick question! They’re all shorter, even the French. French schoolchildren even have half a day of school on Saturday, apparently. No wonder they want to retire at 62.

3. What characteristic distinguishes the fireflies seen annually in the Great Smoky Mountains of Tennessee in the early weeks of June?

A. Their lights become bright red.

B. Their “blink” lasts three minutes.

C. They bite humans and are dangerous to be near.

D. They synchronize their light emissions and blink in unison.

Answer: D, they blink in unison. Whoa, right? This year’s viewing opportunity ends Sunday!

4. This summer blockbuster was the first movie ever to gross more than $100 million in U.S. box office receipts.

A. Star Wars

B. Raiders of the Lost Ark

C. Jaws

D. E.T.

Answer: C, Jaws. It was the first of the four, in 1975.

5. According to the lyrics of Mungo Jerry’s classic 1970 single “In the Summertime,” what is the group’s philosophy?

A. Life’s for livin’.

B. Life is cheap.

C. Life is a party.

D. Keep calm and carry on.

Answer: A, life’s for livin’. For my money, at least the second-best summer pop single ever, perhaps behind “Under the Boardwalk.” Granted, I’m not really caught up on the last 30 years, which I assume must have produced a couple winners.

6. Match the boardwalk treat to its city or area of origin.

Thrasher’s French Fries

Saltwater taffy

Funnel cake

Hot dogs

Coney Island, New York

Pennsylvania Dutch Country

The Jersey Shore

Ocean City, Maryland

Answer: Thrasher’s fries, Ocean City; taffy, Jersey shore; funnel cake, Pennsylvania Dutch country; hot dogs, Coney Island. Hot dogs were even called “Coney Islands” back when (ever seen the glorious Paper Moon, made in 1973 and set in the 1930s? At one point Ryan O’Neal says to little Tatum, “Shut up and eat your Coney Island!”).

 

This week’s quiz: Animal houses. Inspired by the firefly question above, astonishing things that animals can do.

 

1. The wood frog has developed a pretty amazing way to hibernate during the winter. What does it do?

A. It lives inside the stomach of a hibernating hedgehog.

B. It grows fur.

C. Large groups of them form a heat-producing pile and hibernate together, emitting a noise that repels predators.

D. It literally dies, biologically—it freezes to death and comes back to life in spring.

2. Only one species on earth has been declared biologically immortal—it can literally live forever (if it can escape its natural predators, that is). What species is it?

A. Starfish

B. Jellyfish

C. Freshwater pearl mussel

D. European lobster

3. Nature has a sense of humor: The Anglerfish is one of the planet’s uglier species. And yet it is also known for what?

A. Females have more sexual partners than any other species on earth.

B. Their courtship rituals are the longest on record.

C. Males’ sexual aura is so powerful that even certain species of shark are attracted to them.

D. They have the longest-lasting sexual intercourse of any species on the planet.

4. Which of these animals have shown the ability in tests to recognize themselves in a mirror?

A. Orca whales

B. Great apes

C. Bottlenose dolphins

D. Eurasian magpies

5. What species of birds holds funerals for its deceased?

A. Crows

B. Falcons

C. Ostriches

D. Peacocks

6. Match the fun fact to the insect to which it applies.

Ants

Beetles

Spiders

Mosquitoes

Practice cannibalism

Can carry 50 times their body weight

Are the world’s deadliest animal

Constitute one-quarter of all animals on earth

 

Hope that last question didn’t … bug you. Answers next week. Feedback to fightingwords@tnr.com.

 

—Michael Tomasky, editor 

 

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