Things to do this week is sponsored by The Little Orchestra.
All week
LONDON BOOK AND SCREEN WEEK: Beginning today, the sixth annual London Book And Screen Week celebrates literature, TV shows, film and theatre through a variety of events. TV shows Doctor Who and Yes Minister, and author Lynda La Plante are forefront this year. Various locations and prices, book ahead, 9-15 March
SARA BARRON: Comedian Sara Barron begins a residency at Soho Theatre, performing her show Enemies Closer, which was a hit in Edinburgh last summer. She examines kindness, meanness, ex-boyfriends, current husbands, all four of her remaining friends, and two of her twelve enemies. Soho Theatre, from £11, book ahead, 9-21 March
N89: Comedy theatre show N89 is set on the eponymous London night bus, and tells the story of a chance encounter between Kim and Daniel. Kim gets on at Trafalgar Square and she chooses the seat next to Daniel, before immediately falling asleep on his shoulder. Matchstick Theatre (Deptford), £12/£8, book ahead, 9 March-2 April
WOKE ADVERTISING: The Museum of Brands launches new exhibition When Brands Take A Stand today. It focuses on advertising campaigns in which brands took a stand for causes such as diversity, inclusion, environmentalism, health, wellbeing and human rights. TV campaigns, posters and packaging are all covered, and features campaigns that resonated both positively and negatively with consumers. Museum of Brands (Ladbroke Grove), included in admission, from 10 March
DAUGHTER: This captivating one-man show won rave reviews when it debuted at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe in 2018 — now's your chance to experience it in London. Award-winning Canadian performer Adam Lazarus stars in this darkly satirical tale of fatherhood, violence and love, which tackles toxic masculinity head-on. Battersea Arts Centre (Battersea), £12.50-£20, book ahead, 7.30pm, until 28 March (sponsor)
ARAB WOMEN ARTISTS NOW: Cultural festival Arab Women Artists Now celebrates the work of Arab women in fields including comedy, film, music and literature, and bringing them to a wider audience. Events over the next three weeks include live music, film screenings, poetry performances and more. Various locations and prices, book ahead, until 29 March
ST PATRICK'S DAY: Officially, the celebration of Ireland's patron saint takes place on 17 March, but there are plenty of St Patrick's Day events taking place this weekend. The main one is the huge free parade and festival in central London on Sunday — full details here.
Monday 9 March
SPACE JAMS: Nothing to do with the 1996 comedy film, Royal Observatory's Space Jams are live music performances. Respected musicians have been selected to perform improvised sets as the live-score to the space visuals in the intimate Peter Harrison Planetarium. Each show is different, a one-off, never to be repeated again. Royal Observatory (Greenwich), £18-£21, book ahead, 7pm/8pm
DUSTY OLD SHAKESPEARE: Is Shakespeare's work still important today? Academic Emma Smith and award-winning playwright, lyricist and theatre-maker Chris Bush discuss why The Bard's work is still very much relevant in the 21st century. British Library, £13/£6.50, book ahead, 7pm-8.15pm
Tuesday 10 March
AI-POWERED CREATIVITY: Can computers ever be considered 'creative'? In an age where machines are composing music and turning photographs into paintings, Arthur I. Miller asks whether they are truly creative, or just tools for artists and musicians. He argues that the lack certain factors, such as the need for introspection, but could one surpass even humans in their creativity. Conway Hall (Holborn), £8/£5, book ahead, 7.30pm-9.30pm
SYNAPTIC SYMPHONIES: Science writer Zoe Cormier discusses how and why humans evolved to be able to create music. Find out why all human civilisations through history have made music, and why animals don't understand music the way we do. Conway Hall (Holborn), £10, book ahead, 7.30pm-10pm
Sponsor message
Tipples, tunes, and a stunning tale of resilience from The Little Orchestra
From themed cocktails to theatrical staging, nobody does classical concerts quite like The Little Orchestra. For the next chapter in their year-long celebration of Beethoven, the orchestra is back at Battersea Arts Centre to explore how one of the German maestro's lowest ebbs — the loss of his hearing — gave rise to an intense flowering of creativity.
You don't have to be a Beethoven buff to get involved: The Little Orchestra is all about making classical music accessible and enjoyable. So lean back in comfy seats and enjoy the storytelling that brings Beethoven's 2nd Symphony, the centrepiece of the evening, to life. There's loads of time to socialise, too. Mingle at the bar as Mix & Match fix you a drink (you might even end up chatting to the musicians), pick a dish from the bespoke superfood-inspired menu, or put on your dancing shoes and get your groove on, 19th century Vienna-style.
Crisis of Despair is the third instalment in a string of events celebrating the 250th anniversary of Beethoven's birth. It takes place Friday 20 and Saturday 21 March at Battersea Arts Centre. Get your tickets here, and don't forget to keep a look out for the next chapters in The Little Orchestra's musical odyssey.
Wednesday 11 March
THE FUTURE IS FLAVOUR: Take your tastebuds on a tantalising trip to a flavourful future at this immersive cocktail masterclass, which celebrates the launch of Franklin & Son's new mixer range. Check out Callooh Callay's brand new bar while enjoying four bespoke drinks and devouring canapes. You even get a goody bag to recreate that magic at home. Callooh Callay (Chelsea), £10, book ahead, 45-minute slots run 6pm-8.15pm (sponsor)
LIGHTSPEED: The way in which light travels has long been of interest to scientists, as far back as Ancient Greece. Hear from Professor John C.H. Spence about how physicists through time have tackled the problem, what discoveries it has led to along the way, and what it's got to do with nuclear weapons. Royal Institution (Mayfair), £16/£10/£7, book ahead, 7pm-8.30pm
RODDY DOYLE: Irish writer Roddy Doyle is questioned by various guest interviewers at an evening celebrating his work. Novelist Kerry Hudson chairs, and there's also a chance to hear Doyle read some of his own humorous work. Southbank Centre, £15-£25, book ahead, 7.30pm
TITANIC: The Night Titanic Sank commemorates the maritime disaster, focusing on three lives changed forever by the tragic events of April 15th 1912. The show is based on real-life testimonies, and is written and performed by Jonathan Goodwin. Oso Arts (Barnes), £14, book ahead, 8pm
Thursday 12 March
AFFORDABLE ART FAIR: The spring edition of The Affordable Art Fair begins today, with thousands of artworks on display by more than 100 galleries from all over the world. All are for sale, and priced between £50 and £6,000. The latter may stretch your definition of 'affordable', but if you're looking to start your art collection, it's probably worth having a browse and seeing if you can pick up a bargain. Battersea Park, £11-£16.50, book ahead, 12-15 March
ANDY WARHOL: Tate Modern's new exhibition on pop art maestro Andy Warhol begins today. Over 100 of the Pittsburgh-born artist's images are on display, including iconic prints of Marilyn Monroe, Debbie Harry, Elvis Presley and Coca-Cola bottles. It's likely to be very busy this weekend. Tate Modern, £22, book ahead, 12 March-6 September
JAMESTOWN BRIDES: The Jamestown Brides were 56 English women who crossed the Atlantic in 1621 in response to the Virginia Company of London's call for maids 'young and uncorrupted'. Author Jennifer Porter talks about why they agreed to make the crossing, and what happened to them once they arrived. Guildhall Library, £8.14, book ahead, 6pm-8pm
FAST FASHION: Hear from journalist Lauren Bravo about her book, How To Break Up With Fast Fashion. She chats to vintage style blogger Pip Jolley about their own journeys towards giving up fast fashion, and how you can give your shopping habits and wardrobe a sustainable overhaul. Fashion & Textile Museum (Bermondsey), £15/£12, book ahead, 6pm-8pm
GOOGLE MAPS: The map of the future may not in fact be a map. So argues Ed Parsons, the Geospatial Technologist of Google who is responsible for Google’s mission to organise the world’s information using geography. He argues that we're not using the incredibly detailed map we all carry on our phones to its full advantage, and looks at what other information it may hold in the future. British Library, £16/£8, book ahead, 7pm-8.30pm
DUELLING PIANOS: Partial to a good old-fashioned singalong? This duelling piano party on the River Thames should float your boat! Climb aboard a beautifully-converted 1930s Dutch barge and allow two of London's top piano players to take your musical requests. From The Beatles to Beyonce — you name it, they'll play it. Tamesis Dock, Albert Embankment (Vauxhall), £7-£10, book ahead, 7.30pm-10.30pm, every Thursday until 26 March (sponsor)
Friday 13 March
IRISH FILM FESTIVAL: Ahead of London's St Patrick's Day celebrations, the Irish Film Festival comes to town for a special St Paddy's edition. Things kick off today with a screening of new Irish short films, and new feature film Calm With Horses followed by a Q&A. Regent Street Cinema, various prices, book ahead, 13-15 March
COUNTRY TO COUNTRY: Music festival Country To Country returns to The O2 for three days of live music, with simultaneous events in Dublin and Glasgow, and the artists switching venues each day. Eric Church, Darius Rucker and Luke Combs are this year's headliners, with plenty of support acts. Choose between a one-day or all-days ticket. The O2 (North Greenwich), from £45, book ahead,13-15 March
HYDE PARK: Join a tour guide for a wander around Hyde Park, hearing some of its stories. Learn about the notorious criminals who met their end at the Tyburn Tree, and the park's instrumental role during the first world war. Visit the spot where Peter Pan had his first adventure in JM Barrie's novel Peter Pan, and the usually off-limits Victorian Pet Cemetery. Hyde Park, £10, book ahead, 10.30am-12pm
ARABS ARE NOT FUNNY: It's an all-female line-up at the latest edition of Arabs Are Not Funny!, a comedy night which aims to smash that stereotype. Isabelle Farah, Leïla Ladari, Laila Alj, Jenna Al Ansari, Serine Ayari are all scheduled to appear, and all performances are in English. The event is part of Arab Women Artists Now. Rich Mix (Shoreditch), £12, book ahead, 8pm
Saturday 14 March
VEGAN LIFE LIVE: Whether you're resolutely vegan, or just vegan-curious, Vegan Life Live focuses very much on what is still on the menu. Tuck into pizzas, ice cream, curries, pasta and more, all completely vegan, and pick up cooking tips and ideas in demo kitchens. Alexandra Palace, £15, book ahead, 14-15 March
THE CANDLELIGHT CLUB: Dance the night away at The Candlelight Club, a clandestine party which harks back to the era of Prohibition. Don your best jazz age outfit and enjoy live music from Silver Ghosts and DJing by The Bee's Knees, all hosted by Champagne Charlie. Secret central London location, £25-£40, book ahead, 7pm-midnight
HAVEN'T STOPPED DANCING YET: 70s and 80s soul, funk and disco tunes are the soundtrack for Haven't Stopped Dancing Yet, an event aimed at anyone who remembers the songs from the first time round, as well as anyone who just enjoys grooving to good music. Expect an outfit competition and free retro sweets too. Islington Assembly Hall, £16.50, book ahead, 7.30pm
FROMAGE ON ICE: The shamelessly cheesy Club de Fromage takes to the ice for a musical movies special. Put your skates on for Fromage on Ice, and spend your evening dancing and twirling to tunes from musical films, including Mamma Mia, Grease, Bohemian Rhapsody, Frozen, Moulin Rouge and more. Alexandra Palace, £10/£9, book ahead, 8.30pm
Sunday 15 March
ST PATRICK'S PARADE: The main part of London's St Patrick's Day celebrations take place today. The free parade and festival sees floats processing from Hyde Park Corner, down Piccadilly and Haymarket and through to Trafalgar Square. Irish dancing schools and community groups show off their skills, with everyone welcome to watch. West End, free, just turn up, 12pm-6pm
GALLERY YOGA: Start your Sunday with a yoga session surrounded by a collection of Old Master paintings. British Wheel of Yoga teachers lead the session, designed to stretch, strengthen and energise you, and your ticket includes entry to the current British Surrealism exhibition after the class. Not suitable for complete yoga beginners. Dulwich Picture Gallery, £25, book ahead, 8.30am-9.45am
DICKENSIAN WALK: In partnership with the Dickens Museum, London Walking Tours leads a wander around the streets of Southwark which would have been familiar to the author. Pass the site of the Marshalsea Prison where his father was incarcerated for debt, and see the remains of a churchyard which may have influenced a scene from A Christmas Carol. Borough Station, £10, book ahead, 11am
