All week

NYCTOPHILIA: This small exhibition brings together four artists who draw inspiration from the night, including Suzanne Moxhay's moths dancing in a candle flame and Carolein Smit's ceramic sculptures of bats, and a skeleton under a blanket of stars. The night may be dark and full of terrors, but it's also home to some magical moments. James Freeman Gallery (Angel), free, just turn up, Until 27 November

GUNTHER: In a timely London debut, given the recent death of actor James Michael Tyler, FRIEND (The One With Gunther), has a week-long run at Wilton’s. It tells the stories we've come to know and love in the sitcom through the eyes of Gunther, the Central Perk manager who came to be known as the ‘seventh Friend’. Comedian Brendan Murphy plays the brassy-haired barista. Wilton’s Music Hall, £18.50-£25, book ahead, 8-13 November

CHRISTMAS PAST: We’re pleased to see the Museum of the Home continuing the festive traditions of its predecessor, the Geffrye Museum, by dressing its installations up for Christmas. The museum’s rooms, which date back 400 years, show how Christmas would have been celebrated and decorated during different time periods, including the introduction of Christmas trees to our homes. Museum of the Home (Hoxton), free entry, book ahead, from 9 November

JULIET & ROMEO: Nope, not a typo: this is a play by Intermission Youth, an organisation that gives young people the tools to become the best versions of themselves through Shakespeare. Lines in the Bard's famous romantic tragedy are transposed, making womanhood the overriding theme. Chelsea Theatre, £20, £13 concessions, book ahead, 10 November-4 December (Wednesdays-Saturdays)

Monday 8 November

FORGOTTEN WOMEN: In 1787, the Lock Hospital Asylum opened its doors to a small group of women, to house and spiritually reform them. Now, a notebook of their stories is the basis for The Lock Asylum. Listen to the audio drama, which is introduced by the writers, and hear from Patrick Wallis from LSE, who discovered the source text. Online, free, book ahead, 6pm-7.30pm

ART OF THE SHORTCUT: Mathematician Marcus du Sautoy loves a good shortcut. Tonight he shares his passion for them, telling us how they helped construct the first cities around 5,000 years ago — and explaining how to pack a car boot most efficiently. The Royal Institution (Mayfair), £16, also online, book ahead, 7pm-8.30pm

SINKING CITY: Venice is chosen as the city to tell the story of the emergencies that we all face, in this online British Library event. Panelists include architectural artists Ila Bêka and Louise Lemoine; and Giorgia Tolfo, who works for the Living with Machines project at the British Library/Alan Turing Institute. Online, free, book ahead, 7.30pm-8.30pm

HAPPY MONDAY: Laugh off your Monday blues with a beer or two, plus a host of comedians at the Amersham Arms, including Luke Kempner, Caroline Mabey and Richard Todd. MCing comes courtesy of  Sion James. Amersham Arms (New Cross), £7, book ahead, 7.30pm-10.30pm

Tuesday 9 November

CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: Covent Garden's Christmas lights are switched on from today. Get in there early with your festive shopping, and admire the massive mistletoe and silver baubles hanging from the market ceiling. A Frozen Forest also opens today, which the kids should love. Find out when the rest of London's Christmas lights are switched on. Covent Garden Market, free, just turn up, from 9 November

PALACE GARDENS: A lot has happened in Fulham Palace's gardens over the past 10 years. In this online lecture, head gardener Lucy Hart looks back at a decade of projects — as well as looking forward to the future. Online, £6, book ahead, 2pm-3pm

MODERN MERCHANTS: Centuries-old ledgers are unrolled at London Metropolitan Archives, to tell the story of the rich cross-cultural exchange of the early modern world and the beginnings of globalised trade. London Metropolitan Archives, free, book ahead, 2pm-3pm and 3pm-4pm

Wednesday 10 November

CHRISTMAS FAIR: Country Living's Christmas Fair comes to Islington today — offering everything from jewellery to gin to cheese to textiles to artworks. There's also a full programme of talks and workshops where you can make your own festive fairies, wreaths and baubles. We're exhausted just thinking about it. £20 admission (extra charge for workshops), book ahead, 10-14 November

VIKTOR WYND: The eponymous curator of the incorrigibly odd Viktor Wynd Museum offers to show visitors around his bizarre collection. Expect dodo bones, shrunken heads and a poo belonging to the late Amy Winehouse. The Viktor Wynd Museum of Curiosities (Hackney), from £22.80 (with a G&T), book ahead, 6pm-7.30pm

ARMY GIRLS: Some of the last surviving female soldiers of the second world war join historian and author Tessa Dunlop, to mark the release of her new book, Army Girls, and discuss the people and stories who influenced it. National Army Museum (Chelsea), £10, book ahead, 6.30pm

MATERNAL POETRY: From the birthing of kings to modern-day midwives, literary charity Poet in the City hosts a night of poetry and discussion around the subject of motherhood — exploring the responsibilities and expectations of mothers throughout history. Award-winning journalist Saima Mir hosts. Kings Place (King's Cross), £17.50, book ahead, 7.30pm-9pm

Thursday 11 November

PERU: The British Museum's latest exhibition opens today; Peru: a Journey in Time traces the long history of those who've lived (and invaded) the area, including the ill-fated Inca. There's also large-scale photography and videos of sites, including the Nasca geoglyphs and Machu Picchu. British Museum (Bloomsbury), adults from £15, book ahead, 10am-5pm (8.30pm Fridays) until 20 February

PRINT FAIR: Today sees the launch of Woolwich Contemporary Print Fair. Featuring works from over 500 international artists, this is a great way to discover new artworks, get some first-hand advice on collecting, and take a print or two home. Fireworks Factory (Woolwich), £10.50, book ahead, 12pm-5pm (until 14 November)

REBUGGING THE PLANET: Vicki Hird, author of Rebugging the Planet, invites us to imagine a world with no insects and invertebrates, no flowers, no trees, no crops — explaining the vital role that bugs and creepy crawlies play in our eco-system, and why we're headed towards 'insectageddon'. Stanfords (Covent Garden), £5, book in advance, 7pm-8.30pm

TWICKENHAMSHIRE: During the Age of Enlightenment, Twickenham was a riverside realm of gardens and villas — including Strawberry Hill House, Orleans House and Marble Hill House. Join experts on such properties, who'll reveal the buildings' strong connection to the River Thames and to each other. Online, £6, book ahead, 7.30pm-9pm

Friday 12 November

DOCKS AFTER DARK: Visit the Museum of London Docklands after dark, for some hijinks in Sailortown — a mock-up 19th century district of rambling alleyways and shops. On your lantern lit journey you'll encounter chilling tales of the men, women and children who worked in the docks... and maybe meet a ghost or two. Museum of London Docklands (West India Quay), £20, book ahead, 5.30pm-7pm

FONTASTICAL GAMES: We all love a good Johnston font, amiright? If you concur, then this late at London Transport Museum is right up your street. Sarah Hyndman, author of the bestselling Why Fonts Matter, hosts this part gameshow, part quiz that's all about fonts. London Transport Museum (Covent Garden), £12, book ahead, 6.30pm-9pm

BRUTALISM & ART: Artist Charlie Warde has a new show called Playtime at Cable Depot in Woolwich. He's created 16 magnetically backed 'Wall Paintings', each depicting a hyper realistic, three-dimensional slab of recently demolished Robin Hood Gardens concrete in varying states of neglect. Over the course of the show, other artists (or 'players') will rebuild the artwork. Free, just turn up7pm-10pm, until 6 February 2022

ORDINARY: Short play Ordinary tells the real life story of Helen Duncan (Nelly). This mysterious woman was accused of being everything from a German spy to a witch to a common fraud. Here, you're invited to make up your own mind who she really was. Old Operating Theatre (London Bridge). £15, book ahead, 7pm-8.15pm (also 13 November)

Saturday 13 November

CHRISTMAS LIGHTS: This is the first weekend that many of London's major Christmas lights will be gleaming — including Regent Street, St James's and Belgravia. Check out our Christmas lights roundup for more details.

LORD MAYOR'S SHOW: The pomp and pageantry of the Lord Mayor's Show comes to the City of London today. Expect an epic procession, full-size model elephants, Japanese drummers, the tallest fire engine in Europe, funfair rides... and lots of horses. Find our more with our guide. City of London, free, all day

HISS THE VILLAIN: On this walking tour of central London, you'll discover Fagin's den, see the site of a prison described as 'an emblem of Hell itself', and find the spot where Sweeney Todd used to cut hair necks. Who said Halloween's over? Starts at the west end of St Paul’s Cathedral, £11.37, book ahead, 11am-12.30pm

GREASE SINGALONG: Your chills will be well and truly multiplied, thanks to Dugdale Centre's Grease singalong, taking place in its Culture Palace. Fancy dress is optional, but you know you want to.Dugdale Centre (Enfield), £4, book ahead, 2pm

HANNAH HORTON: Baritone saxophonist Hannah Horton performs with her talented quartet, at the brilliant jazz club situated inside Toulouse Lautrec in Kennington. It's said Horton plays like an angel — a gutsy one at that. Toulouse Lautrec (Kennington), from £25, book ahead, 8.30pm-11pm

Sunday 14 November

REMEMBRANCE SUNDAY: It's Remembrance Sunday today. Pay your respects at a local church or event, or watch the annual march and wreath laying at the Cenotaph in Whitehall. The service starts at 11am, but the public can arrive from 8am to claim a spot. Wrap up warm and know that space is limited.

DINOSAURS: Or rather, everything you know about dinosaurs is wrong... This fun lecture from Dr Nick Crumpton is a masterclass in myth-busting about the prehistoric creatures. Kids in particular will love remembering these trivia nuggets, and sharing them at school. And by the way, you'll never look at a pigeon the same way again! Royal Institution (Mayfair). £16 adults, £10 concessions, book ahead, 2pm-3pm

QUIRKY KC: Here's a guided walk with a difference. First and Quirky Tours takes a familiar location (in this case King's Cross) and explores the area's notable and quirky 'firsts'. Similar walks around Vauxhall and Fitzrovia are also planned for the coming weeks. King's Cross Underground station. £11.37-£13.52, book ahead, 10.30am-1pm

ICE HOCKEY: The Streatham London ice hockey team play a home game against the Bristol Pitbulls tonight. Streatham are the current Ice Hockey League 1 champions, so expect to see a few pucks fly into the back of the net. Streatham Ice and Leisure Centre, £12 adults, £7 kids, book ahead, puck drops 6.45pm

Urban oddity of the week

Following on from Marcus du Sautoy's talk on shortcuts, one of London's most beautiful can be found in Wimbledon. Dairy Walk runs between Church Road and Marryat Road, and is beautifully maintained by local residents, who've even installed a small statue of St Francis. It also includes a very rare survival in the shape of a turnstile — presumably in place to prevent livestock roaming down the path in another age. See our map of urban oddities for more unusual London features.

Good cause of the week

Fancy attending a carol concert in the Tower of London? Not many get to take part in this rare treat, but it can be done on Thursday 16 December. The concert will be held in the historic Queen's Chapel of St Peter ad Vincula within the Tower — one of central London's oldest religious buildings, dating from 1520. Besides the carols, you'll also get your hands on mulled wine and mince pies. It's a charity event in support of the Head & Neck Cancer Foundation. Tickets are £30.