A previous version of today's email listed Garrison's performance in Edmonds, WA as being September 14. The correct date is September 13. We apologize for this mistake!
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Ignore the noise, sing for the ones in back Moral choices face us every day. Standing in Whole Foods at the array of olive oils, I pass over the French and Italian for political reasons and choose the Portuguese because I met olive growers in Portugal last summer, village people, and liked them, and I assume California olives come from groves owned by Silicon Valley tycoons as a tax write-off and may contain silicon and the Spanish may come from old Franco sympathizers, and then I choose a raw, unfiltered, organic kosher vinegar — how can you argue with organic kosher? — and then on to the butter. I buy the local small-town creamery butter over the major corporate: I seem to recall a hefty political donation by Big Butter in exchange for relaxed regulation. And this is why shopping takes me longer than it otherwise might. Righteousness. I’m obligated to do the right thing, having entered my 78th year. I am kind to strangers, I hold the door open for people except young women who might be offended, I subscribe to newspapers, I even read the editorials. Longevity is not a right; a man is pro¬grammed to degener¬ate. Viagra doesn’t occur in nature. Nature only wanted me to have offspring, raise them to be able to fend for themselves, and get out of the way. God instilled hormones in young people to make them treat us like garbage and thus encourage us to get out of their way. But we still have things to say. This is why the Rolling Stones are out touring in their old age. Rock stars used to feel obligated to die young, OD, go down in a plane, and become immortal, but immortality is no substitute for life itself, and this is the Stones’ message to their fellow septuagenarians: don’t give up — if you’ve still got it, use it. They’re still playing “Brown Sugar” and “Tumbling Dice” and “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” better than any bar band around, so why stop? Mr. Jagger came back from aortic repair to be 17 again. Mr. Dylan, at 78, goes on singing songs, many of which (“I aimed my hand at the mongrel dogs who teach, fearing not I’d become my enemy in the instant that I preach, my existence led by confusion boats, mutiny from stern to bow”) sound like a teenager wrote them. Brian Wilson is still in love with surfing and beaches and California girls. Read the rest of the column >>> |
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Garrison Keillor takes the show on the road Garrison is on tour this fall and winter, with shows all over the country. Will he be coming to your area? Find out on our events page! In the meantime, each week we will be featuring specific shows in our newsletter.
September 1st: Minneapolis, MN
Wrapping up the Minnesota State Fair weekend, Garrison and his Radio Rangers return to Crooners for a night of full-band story and song. Buy tickets >>>
September 13th: Edmonds, Washington
Garrison Keillor performs at the Edmonds Center for the Arts with accompaniment by pianist Richard Dworsky. Buy tickets >>>
September 23rd: Bethesda, Maryland
An evening with Garrison Keillor and vocalist Heather Masse, with Richard Dworsky on piano at Bethesda Blues and Jazz Supper Club. Buy tickets >>>
View ALL Upcoming Events >>> |
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We Are Still Married 2019 marks the 30th anniversary of Garrison Keillor's We Are Still Married, a collection of short stories and poems. To celebrate, we'll be revisiting the book once per month in this very email newsletter and on our Facebook page. Here's how the New York Times described the book when it was released in 1989:
"The other poems, opinions, stories, letters and whatnots in this collection ponder the meaning and nuance of yard sales, sneezes, Woodlawn Cemetery, the last surviving cigarette smokers, the solo sock, the old shower stall, the perils of celebrity, being nearsighted, growing up fundamentalist and traveling with teen-age children. And in these 'ordinary things,' the grace of Garrison Keillor shines through." –New York Times Book Review
Behold, Garrison's poem "The Solo Sock":
THE SOLO SOCK Of life’s many troubles, I’ve known quite a few:
Bad plumbing and earaches and troubles with you,
But the saddest of all, when it’s all said and done,
Is to look for your socks and find only one.
Here’s a series of single socks stacked in a row.
Where in the world did their fellow socks go?
About missing socks, we have very few facts.
Some say cats steal them to use for backpacks,
Or desperate Norwegians willing to risk
Prison to steal socks to make lutefisk.
But the robbery theories just don’t hold water:
Why would they take one and not take the odder?
Socks are independent, studies have shown,
And most feel a need for some time alone.
Some socks are bitter from contact with feet;
Some, seeking holiness, go on retreat;
Some need adventure and cannot stay put;
Some socks feel useless and just underfoot.
But whatever the reason these socks lose control,
Each sock has feelings down deep in its sole.
If you wake in the night and hear creaking and scraping,
It’s the sound of a sock, bent on escaping.
The socks on the floor that you think the kids dropped?
They’re socks that went halfway, got tired, and stopped.
It might help if, every day,
As you don your socks, you take time to say:
“Thank you, dear socks, for a job that is thankless.
You comfort my feet from tiptoes to ankles,
Working in concert, a cotton duet,
Keeping them snug and absorbing the sweat,
And yet you smell springlike, a regular balm,
As in Stravinsky’s Le Sacre du Printemps,
And so I bless you with all of my heart
And pray that the two of you never shall part.
I love you, dear socks, you are socko to me,
The most perfect pair that I ever did see.”
This may help, but you must accept
That half of all socks are too proud to be kept,
And, as with children, their leaving is ritual.
Half of all socks need to be individual. Get the book >>>
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| For over 40 years, Garrison Keillor has held our attention with tales of "the little town that time forgot and decades could not improve." Go home to Lake Wobegon once more with these 18 never-before-available stories including tales about ordinary days, about a young woman and her bridal shower, about the correct time to drive out on the lake ice, about the advantages of dynamite when you're digging a grave in winter, and more. All will hold your attention on the road home. Over 2 1/2 hours on 2 CDs. Get the CDs >>> |
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| This album of duets from Garrison Keillor and Heather Masse includes standards and fan favorites performed over the years during hundreds of concerts across the country. Garrison's understated harmonies give Heather's vocals center stage, while Richard Dworsky and our fine house band provide backup. Note that 3 upcoming events feature Garrison in concert with Heather Masse. LISTEN to "Wild Horses" >>>
Get the CD >>> |
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