The Night of Her Funeral
Jen Siraganian
After bowls of kufta, platters of dolma,
the clatter of pistachio shells and aunts
and uncles simmering over with grief,
we sought the basement's refuge.

We were chins and limbs and knees
criss-crossed applesauce on leather couches,
across rust carpet, a dozen cousins in wrinkled,
nearly new suits and navy blue dresses.

Forgotten for a few hours, a VHS of Fatal Attraction
discovered. I tried to forget my grandfather's howl
in the church's incense fog, an animal sound I thought
was laughter so I laughed, but he wasn't laughing, no one was.

It was my first funeral, and now I was watching
elevator sex and rabbits in saucepans and Glenn Close
who reminded me of my mother until she squeezed
her bloody wrists against the good father's cheeks.

I held my pee until it burned inside me, begged
my older cousin to accompany me to the toilet.
She giggled, embarrassed, wouldn't come in,
only stood by the door to keep watching the screen.

I could still see Glenn Close's blonde perm
spring from the bathtub, from behind my mirror's
reflection, blood and butcher knives and hands
around women's throats hidden everywhere.

I wandered upstairs where the adults galaxied
around our grandfather, a captivated audience
of another film, except the film was him. I slunk
past knees and porcelain cups of Armenian coffee.

His words were relics gathered by the men
with thick palms, by women with scarlet fingernails.
My mother leaned toward my aunt who translated
each story shard into English. I rested my ear on her lap.

He spoke, for the first time, of his childhood,
his father shot with the other men, the marches
to nowhere, his grandmother, mother,
discarded like husks along the road.
from the journal MIZNA
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When I wrote this poem, I was considering the layers of narrative, particularly the horrors depicted in Hollywood’s sexualized thrillers for entertainment versus the actual horrors my grandparents experienced when they were orphaned during the Armenian Genocide. I wanted to explore the irony of myself as a child fleeing the grief and trauma of the adult world upstairs only to be haunted by the images appearing on a screen.

Jen Siraganian on "The Night of Her Funeral"
Howard Coale with the letters between his mother and Nemerov
Howard Nemerov's Letters Donated to Washington University

"WashU Libraries has received a remarkable gift of 513 letters by the late U.S. poet laureate Howard Nemerov from a surprising source—the family of Nemerov’s lover. From 1972 to 1990—a year before Nemerov died of cancer in St. Louis—Nemerov wrote frequent letters to Joan Coale of Philadelphia about his work, family and life on the Washington University in St. Louis campus, where he served as the Edward Mallinckrodt Distinguished University Professor of English and distinguished poet in residence. The correspondence overlaps with a fertile period of Nemerov’s career."

viaWASHINGTON UNIVERSITY
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