Plus: Nathan Fielder, the best ice cream, the worst themeparks, and more
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i just gave a squirle a peice of bread

- Alyx Gorman, Michael Sun and Steph Harmon
We can't stop talking about...
These theme parks have a few
Hauntings  
These theme parks have a few
Emma Beddington and Sarah Gilbert take a tour of the world's most cursed attractions. Each one was abandoned, and they're all appalling.
Wake in fright  
This book club spent 28 years reading James Joyce's Finnegan's Wake. Their review: ‘It never ends’.
Low disquiet  
In Omagh, Northern Ireland, residents are being disturbed by a continuous, mysterious moaning sound.
Wellness blight  
And here's Naomi Klein on the horrible hobgoblin that's visiting your yoga class: the fitness to fascism pipeline.
Scoop this
Australia's best supermarket ice cream
Australia's best supermarket ice cream
From velvety specimens to ‘watery’ experiences, Nicholas Jordan and two gelato-pros spooned their way through nine tubs to find the finest. Turns out it's from Aldi – but so is the worst.
Extremely online
Extremely online
What would you choose instead of a real man? Your dog? Kim Kardashian? A teddy bear that looks like he bangs? Taylor Swift chose the real man instead, and Anne H-P is being way too clever about it. Meanwhile, Kelce’s old tweets are resurfacing, and they are delightful.

In good questions: was de-influencing ever real, or another scam by big small? Can comedians be hot? Does anyone actually feel like an adult

In goodbyes: to sommeliers, to Jezebel, and to you after reading the tracklist of Andre3000’s all-flute album.

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The funniest things on the internet
Jimmy Rees shows us his tabs
Jimmy Rees shows us his tabs
Includes micro impressions, Irish TikTok, and delightfully specific compliments delivered to strangers in public.
Top of the list
An album – dance aches  
Pinkpantheress's music is far weirder, far more intimate than her status as reigning TikTok princess might imply. Her new album Heaven Knows – featuring her chart-burning collab with Ice Spice – is out now. "From the jump, I wasn't going to be a novelty artist," she says.
Pinkpantheress's music is far weirder, far more intimate than her status as reigning TikTok princess might imply. Her new album Heaven Knows – featuring her chart-burning collab with Ice Spice – is out now.
A prequel – hot takes  
Our critic gave it one star, but we will boldly recommend the Hunger Games prequel anyway, titled The Ballads of Songbirds and Snakes. Yes, it is the fifth entry in an already swollen franchise, but it also stars Viola Davis as the campest villain since Shakespeare! Swings and roundabouts. In cinemas.
Our critic gave it one star, but we will boldly recommend the Hunger Games prequel anyway, titled The Ballads of Songbirds and Snakes. Yes, it is the fifth entry in an already swollen franchise, but it also stars Viola Davis as the campest villain since Shakespeare! Swings and roundabouts. In cinemas.
A film – high stakes  
Rosamund Pike is the best part of Promising Young Woman director Emerald Fennell's new film Saltburn, playing a withering aristocratic matriarch who's all surface. "An authentic self?" she jabs in this interview that goes pleasingly wonky. "How boring and earnest!" In cinemas.
Rosamund Pike is the best part of Promising Young Woman director Emerald Fennell's new film Saltburn, playing a withering aristocratic matriarch who's all surface.
A show – head breaks  
New Nathan Fielder! It's five stars for The Curse, which co-stars Emma Stone and sends up home renovation shows in Fielder's classically obscene fashion. "Exquisitely cringe-worthy," our reviewer writes. On Paramount+.
New Nathan Fielder! It's five stars for The Curse, which co-stars Emma Stone and sends up home renovation shows in Fielder's classically obscene fashion.
This week's weirdest story
becomes a musical
The Gwyneth Paltrow ski trial  
becomes a musical
Hoping for a curtain-closing showstopper: 'I Wish You Well'.
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