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Trump Arrives in Washington and Jokes He May Be President Forever

By Mary Ann Akers, Mini Racker

The president-elect is hitting all his new hubs of power on his victory lap around the nation’s capital.

Melania Trump Expected to Break Yet Another FLOTUS Tradition

By Josh Fiallo

Word that the incoming first lady is “unlikely” to move into the White House came on the day she turned down an invite to meet with the outgoing first lady Jill Biden.

For All His Newfound Power, Trump Can’t Save Steve Bannon This Time

By Michael Daly

The self-styled right-wing warrior is facing state fraud charges—meaning a presidential pardon is of no use this time around.

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I Am Still Devastated Trump Won—and What It Means for America

By Michael Ian Black

Michael Ian Black wonders why Republicans have surrendered their party to a “fascist-in-training,” whose administration looks set to relentlessly target women, immigrants, trans people, and the media.

‘BlueAnon’ Conspiracies Grip Dems After Trump’s Election Sweep

By Emell Derra Adolphus

Extreme “cheating” allegations against President-elect Donald Trump are creating a far-left counterpart to the far-right.

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RFK Jr. Trashes Trump’s Fast Food Diet: ‘Just Poison’

His “Make America Healthy Again” efforts might have to start at the top.

Trump Plans Squad to Fire the Generals He Hates

The Trump transition team is reviewing an executive order that would create a board to review the “leadership qualities” of military officers.

Jack Smith Plans to Troll Trump by Resigning Before He Can Be Fired

Republican lawmakers have already indicated that Smith may be a target of the president-elect’s plans for retribution against his perceived enemies.

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1. John Mulaney Says Olivia Munn Randomly Drug-Tests Him

CHANGED MAN

The comedian said in a new interview that he is embracing being a family man after struggling with addiction for years.

2. John Krasinski Crowned ‘People’ Magazine’s 2024 Sexiest Man Alive

OFFICE CRUSH

The news was announced on “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.”

3. And Now There’s a Pair of Emus on the Loose

ROOTING FOR THEM

They’re “feral” and running roughshod over Loris, South Carolina.

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