1.  Trump Says He Won’t Attend Biden’s Inauguration

 SEAT’S TAKEN 

Without mentioning Biden’s name or conceding that he lost, Trump tweeted on Friday morning that he would not be present on Jan. 20.

2.  Trump Wailed ‘I Don’t Want to Be Your Friend’ at Pence: WSJ

  I’M TELLING MOTHER 

Pence and Trump reportedly met on Wednesday morning, before Trump left to whip his supporters up into a violent rage, and it did not go well.

3.  I’m Only Wearing Everlane’s Sweatpant-Trousers From Now On

 IT WAS ALL A DREAM 

The Dream Pants are made from a thick, double-knit fabric that keep them soft and comfortable but still work appropriate.

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4.  Tech CEO Arrested in MAGA Riot: ‘Worst Decision’ of My Life

 ‘EXTREMELY POOR JUDGMENT’ 

“I followed hundreds of others through an open set of doors to the Capitol building to see what was taking place inside,” said Brad Rukstales.

5.  GOP Rep. Who Quoted Hitler Accuses Critics of Twisting Words

 ‘APOLOGIZE FOR ANY HARM’ 

Freshman Rep. Mary Miller (R-IL) told a crowd of Trump supporters Hitler was right when he said, “Whoever has the youth has the future.”

6.  These Towels Are So Soft They’re Like Drying Off With Clouds

 SOFT STYLE 

You use your towels every single day of your life—you deserve these speckled towels from Parachute.

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7.  ‘SoHo Karen’ Who Tackled Black Teen Snaps at Gayle King

 ‘I’M A 22-YEAR-OLD GIRL’ 

“I consider myself to be super sweet,” said Miya Ponsetto, who apparently doesn’t understand what all the fuss is about.

8.  Perdue Concedes Georgia Senate Seat to Jon Ossoff

 FLIP TIME 

David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler’s losses in the Georgia runoff this week gave Democrats control of Congress.

9.  Laptop Stolen From Pelosi’s Office During Capitol Riot: Aide

 LOW-TECH 

Pro-Trump rioters stormed the House speaker’s office on Wednesday, posing for photos and apparently making off with a laptop.

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10.  AG Opens Grand Jury Probe Into Elijah McClain’s Death

 DEMANDS FOR JUSTICE 

Elijah McClain, 23, was unarmed when he was stopped by police, who used a now-banned chokehold on him.

11.  Tracy Chapman Wins $450K From Nicki Minaj in ‘Sorry’ Lawsuit

  LAWSUITS 

Chapman filed her case against Minaj in 2018 for leaking a remake of her song “Baby Can I Hold You” online.

12.  Dodgers Legend Tommy Lasorda Dead at 93

 ‘THE BIG DODGER IN THE SKY’ 

“I bleed Dodger blue and when I die, I’m going to the big Dodger in the sky,” Lasorda famously said.

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13.  Dominion Voting Sues Trumpist Lawyer Sidney Powell for $1.3B

 CONSEQUENCES 

Citing her role promoting baseless conspiracy theories that the company helped steal the 2020 election from Donald Trump

14.  FBI Puts Up $50K for Info on Would-Be D.C. Pipe-Bomber

 MONEY TALKS 

The person is suspected of planting pipe bombs outside the HQs of both the Republican and Democratic National Committees as rioters swamped the Capitol.

15.  Impeachment Vote as Early as Mid Next Week, House Dems Say

 NO TIME TO LOSE 

Assistant House Speaker Katherine Clark told CNN’s “New Day” said she and her colleague are looking to move “as fast as possible.”

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