1.  Trump to Flee D.C. After Inciting Riot on U.S. Capitol

 PEACE OUT 

The president is reportedly getting out of Washington for the weekend as members of his own administration announce their resignations.

2.  Cop Who Killed Woman in Capitol ‘Didn’t Have a Choice’: Rep

  ‘BEST THEY COULD’ 

“The mob was going to come through the door, there was a lot of members and staff that were in danger at the time,” said Rep. Markwayne Mullin (R-OK), who witnessed the shooting.

3.  This Shaker Is Perfect for Whipping Up Cocktails at Home

 SHAKE THAT THING 

This all-in-one shaker from OXO is the only shaker I’ll ever trust again.

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4.  Biden Calls Capitol Hill Riot ‘Domestic Terrorism’

 ‘TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE’ 

"If it had been a group of Black Lives Matter protesting yesterday, they would have been treated very, very differently," the president-elect said Thursday.

5.  Barr, Ex-Trump BFF, Now Says Conduct Was ‘Inexcusable’

 BARR, NONE 

Trump’s actions represented a “betrayal of his office and supporters,” Barr said.

6.  You Won’t Want to Take These Flats Off, Even Inside

 EASY BREEZY 

Made from sustainable eucalyptus and equipped with a collar that keeps your foot secure, these quite possibly are the best ballet flats out there.

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7.  SCOTUS Denies Rep. Gohmert’s Attempt to Overturn Election

 DENIED 

In a one-sentence decision, the court declined to hear the congressman’s last-ditch attempt to block the results.

8.  Capitol Rioters Hit Police Officers With Lead Pipes in Chaos

 LAW AND HORROR 

About 60 police officers were injured during the attempted coup.

9.  Prosecutor to Pursue Murder Charges Against Doomsday Couple

 DEATH PENALTY? 

Lori Vallow could face the death penalty if convicted of murdering her two children, prosecutors said in a recording.

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10.  Elon Musk Overtakes Jeff Bezos as Richest Person on Earth

 ROCKET MAN 

Tesla and SpaceX CEO Elon Musk is worth $188.5 billion as of Thursday morning, $1.5 billion more than Jeff Bezos.

11.  Rioter Who Stole Pelosi’s Podium Identified as Florida Dad

  AH, FLORIDA MAN 

Adam Johnson, a 36-year-old father from Florida, was captured in a photo stealing the House speaker’s podium during the coup attempt at the Capitol.

12.  Trump Pulls Wolf’s DHS Nomination After Condemnation

 LONE WOLF 

Wolf was a staunch defender of law enforcement during this past summer’s spate of police attacks on civilians.

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13.  Supermodel Stella Tennant Died by Suicide, Family Says

 RIP 

While Tennant died in December, no cause of death had been announced until now.

14.  YouTube to Give ‘Strikes’ to Channels Pushing Election Lies

 FINALLY 

The action comes on the heels of other social media platforms already restricting President Donald Trump’s accounts in the wake of his incitement of an insurrectionist riot.

15.  D.C. to Be Armed Camp for Biden Inauguration

 LESSON LEARNED 

By this weekend, 6,200 National Guardsmen will be stationed in the nation’s capital.

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