1.  Trump to Leave White House Before Biden Is Sworn In: Report

 PARTING SHOT 

He will hold a “farewell event” at Joint Base Andrews on the morning of Inauguration Day.

2.  Gangster Turned ‘All Lives Matter’ Activist Nabbed for Riot

  LAW & DISORDER 

Kash Lee Kelly reportedly gave up the gang life to join Trump’s “Stop the Steal” mob.

3.  Snag Yourself a 5G Smartphone for Under $300

 AD BY ONEPLUS 

The N10 and N100 are Android-powered smartphones that offer real bang-for-your-buck value.

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4.  2 Rioters Claim Cop at Capitol Said ‘It’s Your House Now’

 EXCUSE ME? 

One of the rioters, Kentucky man Robert Bauer, said he thought the police officer was acting out of fear.

5.  Right-Wing Site Retracts ‘Completely False’ Vote Fraud Claim

 ‘GRAVE ERROR’ 

The retraction appears to be in response to a legal threat from Dominion’s lawyers and comes on the heels of a massive lawsuit filed against pro-Trump lawyer Sidney Powell.

6.  This One Item Helped Me Finally Relieve My Chronic Neck Pain

 HURTS SO GOOD 

You’ll never again have to awkwardly ask a friend to give you a neck massage

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7.  QAnon Congresswoman: I Didn’t Guide Rioters Around Capitol

 ‘OFFENSIVE, SHAMEFUL’ 

Lauren Boebert (R-CO), a gun-rights obsessive who has voiced her interest in the baseless QAnon conspiracy theory, is furious about the allegations.

8.  States Told Vax Stockpile Promised by Gov’t Doesn’t Exist

 FALSE POSITIVE 

State officials are frustrated after HHS walked back a promise to release more badly needed COVID-19 vaccine doses.

9.  Ex-Military Lt. Wanted Hostages, Spoke of ‘Civil War’: DOJ

 SENATE SIEGE 

The Air Force veteran carried zip-ties and wore a helmet as he stormed the Senate chamber last week.

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10.  Pence Was ‘Seconds’ Away From Being Spotted by Capitol Mob

 BY THE SKIN OF HIS TEETH 

The Washington Post reports video shows VP and his family narrowly escaped being sighted by violent rioters as they were rushed to a safe location during the Jan. 6 rampage.

11.  FBI Investigating 37 Suspects in Killing of Capitol Cop

  PERSONS OF INTEREST 

Brian Sicknick was struck with a fire extinguisher during the Jan. 6 riot in the Capitol building.

12.  New York Dolls’ Sylvain Sylvain Dies at 69

 LEGEND 

“I can still remember the first time I saw him bop into the rehearsal space ... straight from the plane after having been deported from Amsterdam,” David Johansen wrote.

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13.  Pigeon’s Execution Canceled After U.S. Tag Exposed as Fake

 FREE BIRD 

The incriminating tag made Australian authorities believe the pigeon has breached quarantine rules by crossing the Pacific Ocean from Oregon.

14.  National Guard: Please Stop Sending Gifts to Capitol Troops

 THANKS BUT NO THANKS 

Sympathetic members of the public have apparently been sending stuff to the troops to make them feel more comfortable while deployed ahead of Biden inauguration

15.  DOJ Inspector General Probing Its Handling of Capitol Siege

 WHO KNEW WHAT, WHEN? 

Michael E. Horowitz wants to know what information the DOJ had before the Jan. 6 riot, and if that information was shared with Capitol Police and other agencies.

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