The world is filled with many colorful characters, John, one or many of whom would be absolutely thrilled to play along in any drama you'd care to create - romantically, socially, financially, comically - any. 

You just have to let me do the casting - have to. 

Truly thrilled,

   The Universe

John, this once-in-a-lifetime chance to travel with Mike Dooley can still arrive under the tree on time!

You decide what you want, John, physically move in its direction and I'll "send in the clowns."