Good Morning, Do, Today is Tuesday, February 21 Have FUN! DearWebby Todays Bonehead Award: Utah woman drove off with idling and unlocked fire truck, and to the Kearns fire department for leaving a running truck unlocked while the entrie crew was in the 7-11. Details at  Boneheads ______________________________________________________ Today, February 21 in 1804 The first self-propelled locomotive on rails was demonstrated in Wales. 1965 Malcolm X was assassinated in New York City at the age of 39 by assassins identified as Black Muslims. BLM  See More of what happened on this day in history. ______________________________________________________ 
 If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  
 ______________________________________________________ Television has raised writing to a new low. --- Samuel Goldwyn (1882 - 1974) What is the difference between unethical and ethical advertising? Unethical advertising uses falsehoods to deceive the public; ethical advertising uses truth to deceive the public. --- Vilhjalmur Stefansson (1879 - 1962) I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant. --- Robert McCloskey ______________________________________________________ If you like the Humor Letter, please vote!  ______________________________________________________ Frank called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do? His mother had an idea: "Why don't you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?" He thought this was a great strategy and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone. "The evening was a disaster," he moaned. "Why, didn't she come over?" asked his mother. "Oh, she came over, but she didn't know how to cook either." ______________________________________________________   ______________________________________________________ Two psychiatrists were at a convention. As they conversed over a drink, one asked, "What was your most difficult case?" The other replied, "I had a patient who lived in a pure fantasy world. He believed that an uncle in South America was going to die and leave him a fortune. All day long he waited for a letter to arrive from an attorney. He never went out, he never did anything, he merely sat around and waited for this fantasy letter from this fantasy uncle. I worked with this man eight years." "What was the result?" "It was an eight-year struggle. Every day for eight years, but I finally cured him. And then that stupid letter arrived!" ______________________________________________________   >From FB ______________________________________________________ 
If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter, please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:  Thanks for your votes!
 ______________________________________________________ Reported by the Bausell Sailor An INTERNATIONAL BONEHEAD AWARD has been earned by  Amber Marie Welker, 39, Kerns, Utah  Utah woman drove off with idling and unlocked fire truck  The Bonehead Award should also go to the Kearns fire department, not just to Amber Marie Welker. Hereabouts everybody uses keyfob remote controls to lock and unlock vehicles. I have not seen vehicles without electric locks since the '80s. A Kearns woman who police say got into the driver's seat of an idling firetruck and drove it eight blocks before she got out and ran off has been booked into the Salt Lake County Jail. Amber Marie Welker, 39, was arrested for investigation of theft and violating her parole. About 5 p.m. Thursday, as Unified Fire Authority firefighters were inside a 7-Eleven, 4820 W. 6200 South, police say Welker got into the driver's seat of their idling and UNLOCKED firetruck and drove off. She drove eight blocks before parking the truck by a Walgreen's, near the intersection of 6200 South and 5600 West, then went inside the store and changed her clothes in a restroom. After reviewing surveillance video, Welker was spotted walking near 6200 S. Stone Bluff Way (5500 West) and was arrested. The firetruck did not sustain any damage. In fact, both Unified police officers and firefighters were amazed she was able to not only get the large vehicle moving, but drive it rather successfully. "I have no idea how she did it," said Unified Police Lt. Brian Lohrke. DUH! Any trucker's kid learns as a toddler when daddy or mom lets them pull or hit the big knob, long before they learn that the word on it says BRAKE. Outside of Kearns, Utah, that is not rocket science. "I was shocked that she was able to drive the distance that she did and do so without anything more than going over a couple of curbs, which you see even experienced truck drivers and firefighters (do)," said Unified fire spokesman Matthew McFarland. Welker was not only able to put the truck into gear, but she successfully disabled the air brakes and maneuvered the cumbersome firetruck through the streets, making turns without hitting other cars or structures. "Unless you're familiar with trucks that have air brakes, like all real trucks do, that in itself would stop a lot of people," McFarland said. "It all happened pretty quick, I would guess she had some working knowledge of trucks because she was pretty successful. "And no, I don't think that everyone on the street could jump in and drive one. They're not that straightforward. We spend countless hours in driver's training." Lohrke said firetrucks need to remain idling in the winter because of the water tanks. But he believes the department was now reviewing its policy about leaving a truck unattended. Or maybe learn to use the keyfob remote control to lock and unlock the doors, just like everybody else does? Welker, whose last known address was in Kearns, was convicted in April of assault on a police officer for biting an officer trying to take her into custody, according to court records. She also pleaded no contest to interfering with an arresting officer in 2015. Court records show Welker has also been convicted of drug-related charges and domestic violence- related charges as well as violation of protective orders. With people like that on the loose, they better learn about clicking the LOCK button on the key fob. It's actually really easy!  ______________________________________________________  Tech Support Pits From: Rex Re: CD Storage Dear Webby What's the best way to store important CDs ? I mean stuff that is not easily replaceable like music CDs are. Rex  Dear Rex I recommend those aluminum briefcase style tool boxes that you see with telephone repair people and mobile computer fixers. They are about 46 x 35 x 15 cm (18" x 14" x 6" for the British Imperial Loyalists) and quite sturdy. If there is a fire or any reason for evacuating quickly, you can just grab that aluminum case and run. You can fit hundreds of CDs even with Jewel Cases into them. The trick is to put the CDs INTO the case, not piling them on top. Have FUN! DearWebby    >From Bertha: He didn't like my pudding And he didn't like my cake. My biscuits were too hard, Not like his mother use to bake. I didn't perk the coffee And I didn't make the stew, I didn't mend his socks Like his mother use to do. As I pondered for an answer I was looking for a clue. So, I turned around and boxed his ears, Like his Mother used to do! 
If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!
 
  
 Daily tip from Thriftyfun.com Stuffed Green Peppers By Jackie H. [217 Posts, 104 Comments] Stuffed green peppers have always been a family favorite in my house. It is a very frugal dinner, too! 2 jumbo green peppers, cut in half 1 1/2 lb lean ground beef 1 small onion, chopped fine 1 stalk celery, chopped fine 2 cloves garlic, chopped fine a few slices of green pepper chopped fine 1 box Zaterain's Red Beans and Rice, follow directions on the box 2 cans Italian seasoned diced tomatoes (1 for the rice and 1 for topping the peppers) grated Parmesan cheese (optional) Steps: Using a large skillet, break up up the beef with a spatula. Add all the chopped veggies, the tomatoes, and bring to a boil. Follow the package directions for red beans and rice. Let this all simmer until it thickens. Par boil the green pepper halves. Ladle some of the sauce from the pan and put it in the casserole dish. Lay the pepper halves in a covered casserole dish. Using a the extra diced tomatoes, pour them on top of each pepper. Cover and put in a 350 degree F oven for 30 minutes, or until you see them bubbling hot.   Interesting variation! I boil the rice and in the meantime saute the ground beef and oinions and garlic. Cut the pepers near the stem end, but not as close as when using them for salad. The stem should still be solidly in the cap. Then I cut and clean the inside with a sharp tea spoon. When the rice is almost done, I add it to the beef/onion mix, and stir 3/4 of can of seasones chopped tomatoes plus oregano, cilantro, paprika, salt and pepper and stir it gently, without making the rice mushy. Then I put the bell peppers open end up into a casserole dish, fill them with the mix, put the caps back onto them, pour the remainder of the tomatoes around them, cover, and bake at 375 for 20 minutes. I used to make fresh breadsticks as a side dish, but nowadays I just make a tart cucumber salad for the side. Try both recipes and tell me which one you like better! Have FUN! DearWebby  
  
drum & bugle corps
 ____________________________________________________ Lawyer: Tell us about the fight. Witness: I didn't see no fight. Lawyer: Well, tell us what you did see. Witness: I went to a dance at the Turner house, and as the men swung around and changed partners, they would slap each other on the shoulder, and one fellow hit harder than the other one liked, and so the other one hit back and somebody pulled a knife and someone else drew a pistol and another guy came up with a rifle that had been hidden under a bed, and the air was filled with yelling and gun smoke and bullets. Lawyer: You, too were shot in the fracas? Witness: No sir, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel. ___________________________________________________  
  
A very imaginative artist. 
 The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy."John," the new guy replied. The manager scowled, "Look... I don't know what kind of a mamby-pamby place you worked before, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only... Smith, Jones, Baker... That's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?" The new guy sighed, "Darling. My name is John Darling." "Okay John, the next thing I want to tell you is..." ------------------- Yeah, I remember Mr Robertson, a manager with shiny shoes. The ONLY shiny shoes in the company, until the mysterious, never drying mud puddle appeared around his designated parking spot. 
 Ophelia Dingbatter's News
 No sermon and not suitable for church, just jokes and fun for grownups. Read it on-line or subscribe. If you subscribe, look for the double opt-in confirmation request. 
 ____________________________________________________ 
 Today on February 21 1804 The first self-propelled locomotive on rails was demonstrated in Wales. 1842 John J. Greenough patented the sewing machine. 1848 The Communist Manifesto was published by Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels. 1858 The first electric burglar alarm was installed in Boston, MA. 1878 The first telephone directories issued in the U.S. were distributed to residents in New Haven, CT. It was a single page of only fifty names. 1904 The National Ski Association was formed in Ishpeming, MI. 1916 During World War I, the Battle of Verdun began in France. The battle ended on December 18, 1916 with a French victory over Germany. 1932 William N. Goodwin patented the camera exposure meter. 1947 Edwin Land demonstrated the Polaroid Land Camera to the Optical Society of America in New York City. It was the first camera to take, develop and print a picture on photo paper all in about 60 seconds. The photos were black and white. The camera went on sale the following year. 1950 The first International Pancake Race was held in Liberal, Kansas. 1965 Malcolm X was assassinated in New York City at the age of 39 by assassins identified as Black Muslims. BLM. 1973 Israeli fighter planes shot down a Libyan Airlines jet over the Sinai Desert. More than 100 people were killed. 1975 Former U.S. Attorney General John N. Mitchell and former White House aides H.R. Haldeman and John D. Ehrlichman were sentenced to 2 1/2 to 8 years in prison for their roles in the Watergate cover-up. 1988 In Baton Rouge, LA, TV evangelist Jimmy Swaggart confessed to his congregation that he was guilty of an unspecified sin. He announced that he was leaving the pulpit temporarily. Swaggart had been linked to an admitted prostitute. 1989 U.S. President George H.W. Bush called Ayatollah Khomeini's death warrant against "Satanic Verses" author Salman Rushdie "deeply offensive to the norms of civilized behavior." 1995 Chicago stockbroker Steve Fossett became the first person to fly solo across the Pacific Ocean in a balloon. He landed in Leader, Saskatchewan, Canada. 2003 David Hasselhoff and his wife Pamela were injured in a motorcycle accident. The accident was caused by a strong gust of wind. Hasselhoff fractured his lower back and broke several ribs. His wife fractured her left ankle and right wrist. 2017 Do smiled.
 
 

If you can help with the cost of the Humor Letter, please donate what you can!

If you like the Dear Webby Daily Humor Letter,
please vote for it at the Ezine Finder:
Thanks for your votes!

ARCHIVE: If you missed previous issues, you can see them
in the Humor Letter Blog at http://webby.com/humor/blog