Unvaxxed Lunch Lady Wants You to See Her COVID Death Spiral

By Michael Daly

The 56-year-old mom spent weeks on a ventilator and was thought to be at death’s door. She wants everyone to see what it’s like to be on the brink—so they can avoid it.

Netflix Drops the First Binge-Worthy Horror Series of 2022

By Nick Schager

This eight-part series is centered on a man tasked with restoring old camcorder tapes who stumbles upon a wild mystery involving cults, witches, time travel, and human sacrifice.

Why Did the Queen Take So Long to Call Time on Andrew?

By Clive Irving

Why did the Queen put up with Andrew’s sleaze for so long? After all, his record as a priapic grifter has been clear for more than two decades.

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These Custom Night Guards Will Give You a Reason to Smile

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Feds Toss Right-Wing Claim That Ilhan Omar Funded Affair

By Roger Sollenberger

The right-wing has obsessed over Ilhan Omar’s sex life for years. The FEC just dismissed a complaint that she improperly paid her eventual husband.

Inside Porn’s Silliest New Trend: Women Stuck in Things

By Cherie DeVille

There’s a reason why this trend—scenes of men having sex with women who are stuck—has taken off. Let adult superstar Cherie DeVille explain.

A Hallucinogenic Tree Changed How Humans Used Drugs

By Sarah Sloat

Over a thousand years ago, people in South America threw one hell of a rager—and showed Westerners how to mix and match their vices.

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McConnell’s Threat to Go Nuclear on Democrats Is Nonsense

By Casey Burgat

Democrats shouldn’t fear McConnell’s threats of political vengeance if they ditch the filibuster. They should call his bluff.

Satellite Shows Insane Underwater Volcano, Tsunami Hits Land

By Corbin Bolies

Waves pummeled into Tonga on Saturday and as far away as Oregon.

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I Kissed My Back Pain Goodbye With This Kneeling Desk Chair

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Here's What To Get Your Wife Who Has Everything For Valentine's Day

Foolproof V-day gifts for the wife or girlfriend who already has everything or swears she doesn't want anything (don't fall for this!).

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1. Angry Aus Open Stars: It’s Not That Hard to Just Get Vaxxed

 MAKE IT STOP 

The players’ answers during a Saturday press conference ranged from diplomatic to despondent.

2. Spittin’ Mad Kanye West Threatens Pete Davidson in New Rap

 🥩 

Davidson, of course, is dating Kim Kardashian, Kanye’s estranged wife.

3. Portland Cops Told to Bash ‘Dirty Hippies’ in Training Notes

 TRUE COLORS 

A slide referred to officers as “humble servants with hat, and with bat” sent out to target Marxists who don’t pay their bills.

4. Maryland Hubby Accused of Mowing Wife Down Outside Bank

 HORRIBLE 

The victim had driven herself to the bank in a separate vehicle, authorities said.

5. Grinning Ex-Sheriff Busted for Campaign-Related Crimes

 TURNING THE TABLES 

William Ray Norris resigned last year after the state attorney general sought to impeach him.

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