1. USPS Delays ‘Risk Disenfranchising 1000s of Atlanta Voters’

  HERE WE GO AGAIN 

If ballots were mailed by voters three to five days before today’s Georgia Senate run-off elections, they might not make it in time to be counted.

2. White House Doesn’t Deny Rumors of Trump Fleeing to Scotland

 LOCH HIM UP 

Reports from Scotland have noted some strange U.S. military activity around Trump’s flagship golf resort, stoking rumors of his imminent arrival.

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3. Still Using a Traditional Scale? You’re Doing It All Wrong

 AD BY FITTRACK 

The FitTrack Dara is a BMI Smart Scale that measures way more than what you weigh.

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4. NYC Real-Estate Moguls ‘Arranged Vaccine for Rich Friends’

 ALL IN IT TOGETHER 

Bill and David S. Mack allegedly arranged for a list of their rich buddies to receive vaccines at a Florida retirement home where David serves as chairman.

5. ‘Bean Dad’ Says Sorry: ‘We Had a Bowl of Pistachios’

 CAN OF WORMS 

John Roderick shared a bizarre anecdote in which he said his 9-year-old daughter told him she was hungry, and he responded by making her struggle with a can opener for hours.

6. The Nasal Swab That May Keep You Healthy Through Flu Season

 FLU BEE GONE 

One Scouted writer swears by the stuff that takes seconds to apply.

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7. New High: Virus Lands 2,800 Americans in Hospital in One Day

 SURGE UPON SURGE 

Monday saw at least 180,477 more Americans test positive for COVID-19, according to Johns Hopkins University’s tally, and 1,903 people lost their lives.

8. Ariz. Gov. Doug Ducey Roasted for Son’s Mask-Free Party Vid

 PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY? 

The state now has the highest per capita rate for new COVID-19 cases.

9. L.A. Ambulance Crews Now Have to Ration Oxygen

 WHAT A HORROR 

And if they can’t resuscitate a patient in the field, they’re being told not to bring them to the hospital.

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10. Hundreds Hit COVID Vaccine Jackpot After Freezer Meltdown

 WASTE NOT 

They had only two hours before the vials would go bad, so all the priority rules went out the window.

11. Lou Dobbs Complains ‘Actual Proof’ of Fraud Too Hard to Find

 HEAD-SCRATCHER 

“We still don’t have verifiable, tangible support for the crimes that everyone knows were committed,” the Fox Business host lamented Monday night.

12. Proud Boys Head Arrested Ahead of Electoral College Protest

 PROUD BEFORE A FALL 

Enrique Tarrio said in December that he would plead guilty if charged in the destruction and burning of a Black Lives Matter sign in D.C.

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13. ATV Riders Stumble Upon Frozen Dead Body at ‘Haunted’ House

 ‘SPEECHLESS’ 

“I heard that once you smell a human you can’t ever forget it. And I can still smell it right now,” one of the riders recalled.

14. Activist Who Urged Black Voters to Join GOP Dies From COVID

 R.I.P. 

Daphne Goggins died Dec. 30, leaving behind three children, according to her GoFundMe.

15. ‘That ’70s Show’ Star Tanya Roberts Still Alive, Rep Says

 WTF?? 

Her rep sent a press release Sunday stating Roberts had died, including a quote from her partner reading, “as I held her in her last moments, she opened her eyes.”

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