My kids are all grown up now, but from talking to friends and colleagues with younger kids, it’s clear that youth sports have become too serious.
Kids compete too much and too early.
They overspecialize at too young an age, then get burnt out.
They spend too much time doing the same thing with the same movement patterns.
It monopolizes any free time the kids (and the rest of the family) have.
And, perhaps most importantly, parents are too wrapped up in it all.
The problem is that the classic childhood culture of free play is disappearing. Oftentimes the only chance a kid gets to move is by joining a competitive youth sports team. So how can you make it work without getting out of hand?
Keep it fun.
They’re “playing” sports, remember? Playing is fun.
If you’re enrolling your kid in a legit youth sports league, make sure the emphasis is on fun. That may mean calling the coach and talking about their philosophy and their goals for the kids. For your part, don’t criticize them on the ride home. Don’t badger them about missing a play or shot. If you ruin sports, you might just ruin the idea of play altogether.
Delay competition as long as you can, and let them decide when it's time.
The desire to compete has to emerge from within. Humans are naturally competitive, but this competitiveness comes out at different times for different kids. When you see them enjoying an activity and then throw them into organized sports saying, “Ok, now go compete at a high level,” you risk interrupting what could be a delicate process of growth.
Choose recreation leagues over travel leagues.
At least when they are on the younger side, more casual rec leagues make more sense for most kids than a serious year-round travel league. They’re not as expensive or time-consuming. They’re not as competitive and serious, which can force your kid into bad patterns—both movement and psychological. You can always move up to the travel league later if your kid expresses interest and has the chops for it.
Encourage them to play multiple sports.
I grew up playing every sport outside with my friends, roaming the neighborhood for pickup games. That’s part of why I can play any number of sports and still move well today. If that idyllic childhood experience is no longer available to your kids, you can at least help them get the same results by letting them play multiple sports rather than focus on one.
This also spreads the “movement load” to various tissues that might otherwise get overloaded and injured from repetitive motions. When they get older, they can specialize all they want, but the best foundation for an athlete is playing everything.
Consider a “movement” discipline instead of a sport to keep kids active.
Consider a non-traditional alternative to classic sports. There’s:
- Dance
- Archery
- Martial arts
- Hunting
- Parkour
- Gymnastics
- Fencing
- Equestrian
- Rock climbing/bouldering
To name just a few. Any of these will give them the ability to move well, make friends, and build their stamina and endurance.
Don’t be the coach (unless you’re the actual coach).
Oftentimes a parent coaches the youth sports team. If that’s you, be the coach. But don’t be the parent screaming from the sidelines. Don’t hover around the edge of practice, ready to tell them everything they’re doing right or wrong. You don’t want your kids constantly looking to you for approval. You want your kids fully immersed in the game, doing it for themselves—not for you.
Ask yourself, “Who’s it for?”
Are you pushing your kid into sports for their benefit, or yours?
Now, there’s an argument that they might not know the benefits of participating in sports. However, those benefits are more likely to emerge if kids truly enjoy themselves. Pushing them into it against their will makes it less likely they’ll glean those positive lessons down the line and more likely they’ll resist them.
