Humans are naturally drawn to repetitive, predictable actions—the routines, traditions, and rituals that bring a sense of familiarity, comfort, and meaning to our lives. We celebrate birthdays and holidays by putting up certain decorations, eating specific foods, and listening to the same music. Morning and evening routines bookend our days.
There’s a reason we gravitate toward these recurring practices. For our ancient ancestors, ritual was key to social cohesion. The tighter-knit the group, the better chance they had at surviving. Rituals helped define kinship by establishing common ground and constructing a group identity for our ancestors. It imposed an agreed-upon order to life. It kindled a sense of meaningful participation and collective investment.
Rituals still serve the same functions today. In a world where so much feels out of our control, rituals are as important as ever.
Ritual Versus Routine
Rituals are not routines, and routines are not rituals. While they share common features and serve similar purposes to some degree, rituals also stand alone in terms of the deep meaning they convey.
Routines are meant to automate, to take the guesswork out of life. Effective routines are somewhat mindless. You don’t have to decide whether you’re going to brush your teeth or do 50 pushups on your lunch break because you’ve built a habit. Young kids learn that dinner is followed by bathtime, book, and bedtime. There’s no questioning it or fighting it. In short, the best routines are the ones you barely have to think about.
Rituals are, by comparison, deeply mindful, immersive experiences. There’s no zoning out or automaticity. Attention to each of the steps is itself a core piece of the ritual. Each component must be performed carefully and intentionally, even reverentially. Most importantly, rituals connect you to something bigger—whether it’s cultural, religious, or spiritual—in a way that a routine does not.
What Modern Science Tells Us
This is a case, I think, where we don’t really need science to affirm what we already feel, but let’s take a look anyway.
Some years ago, researchers from Syracuse University studied couples of varying religious backgrounds who shared holiday customs like lighting the menorah or decorating for Christmas. Those who partook in these shared rituals reported better overall relationship happiness. Significantly, the connection didn’t depend on the degree of spiritual devoutness but on the active experience of sharing in the ritual itself.
Beyond any sense of reverence, the simple repetition of an activity can invoke positive feelings and ward off negative ones. Rituals can also put us in the proper headspace to perform under pressure. Think about athletes partaking in elaborate pregame rituals. They may be trying to conjure success by tapping into an amorphous force (Luck? The Universe?), but they are also getting themselves laser focused on the task at hand.
What Role Does Ritual Play in Your Life?
Whether or not you ascribe to a particular religious or spiritual belief, I wonder what rituals populate your life right now. Do you participate in rituals that enhance your sense of community and connection? Which, if any, have lost their core of meaning and now just take up mental and logistical space in hollow forms?
Is it time for redefining old rituals or creating new ones?
