Hi John,

A member of your team thinks their performance is stellar and that they deserve a raise. You think not. You’ve discussed it, but your team member isn’t letting go. What should you do? Today’s Q&A sheds light.
What to Do When You and Your Employee Disagree about Their Performance
by Joseph Grenny

A member of the team I lead is convinced he’s an excellent worker, top performer, and unfairly overlooked for a promotion. The problem is none of that is true, but he refuses to accept this. He sometimes does great work but is inconsistent. He’s also often nowhere to be found, for hours at a time. How do I hold him accountable when his self-perception is so wildly different from reality? I ask all the right questions, but we still go in circles when we talk with me pointing out weaknesses and him claiming perfection.

Signed,
Perception Gap

The mistake you’re making is that you’re coming into your Crucial Conversation unprepared. You’re coming in with stories, conclusions, and judgments but little or no fact. So is he. If the conversation sounds like…

Him: “I’m an excellent worker, a top performer and deserve a promotion!”

You: “I agree that you do good work sometimes, but you’re inconsistent and often disappear.”

Him: “No, I don’t! I’m always available and keep all my commitments!”

You: “Actually, you don’t.”

... then you're stuck in the “competing conclusions” trap. The only way to break this argument over vague generalities is to back up and start over. This time, with facts.
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Nov 27–Dec 1

Crucial Conversations® for Mastering Dialogue

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  • Resolve conflict.
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  • Reach alignment when stakes are high and opinions vary.
  • Navigate the most important interactions at home and work.
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Self-expression must pass into communication for its fulfillment.
 
—Pearl Buck