Plus: Sam Kerr, the Oscars, Jonathan Van Ness, bagels and an iconic fish
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Stupid white bastard
We spent a lot of time this week looking at fingers.

- Michael Sun, Steph Harmon and Alyx Gorman
We can't stop talking about...
and what to expect
The Oscars  
and what to expect
Ahead of this Monday's show (10am, channel seven), we've put together an incredibly helpful cheat sheet for all the best picture nominees – including how to watch them.
Prize predictions  
Who will win? According to Peter Bradshaw: not Barbie, mostly Oppenheimer.
Pre-show fictions  
On the red carpet, both stars and reporters have stopped pretending to care. Writes Zoe Williams deliciously: "From every angle, it is terrible to behold."
Swag addictions  
And what's in the goodie bags that are going to guests? Portable purse seats, 10,000 meals for dogs and three nights in Saint Barts.
Eat this
Bagels (they're finally delicious)
Bagels (they're finally delicious)
Decent bagels have been a hole in the heart of Australia's otherwise excellent baked goods scene. But across the country, a sourdough bagel revolution is fermenting.
Extremely online
Extremely online
Happy international women’s day to our favourite woman, Sam Kerr, the hero we needed, finally vindicated to much celebration. These women are reading, this woman murdered on the dancefloor, this woman is spilling all, this woman took a DNA test, and this woman is a horse.

Also in reads: on Jonathan Van Ness, who is allegedly not nice; and on a self-help guru with an “iffy origin story”. The Drift dragged Judith Butler, and the Atlantic dragged all newsletters (not us though). 

Finally: watch this video, pet this dog, and eat this burrito
The funniest things on the internet
Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall shows us his tabs
Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall shows us his tabs
The comedy writer and standup recommends Werner Herzog, Bunnings ad parodies and Jimmy Carr’s ‘darkest jokes’.
Top of the list
A list – best books  
New Australian titles this month include a biting art world satire, a sapphic high school story, a juicy sounding memoir and the brilliant return of Nam Le.
New Australian titles this month include a biting art world satire, a sapphic high school story, a juicy sounding memoir and the brilliant return of Nam Le.
A band – bit cooked  
It's round two of our new series Headline Act! We talked to Good Morning, the Australian DIY duo who went viral and now have to deal with fans having sex to their music. As they put it: "disgusting!"
It's round two of our new series Headline Act! We talked to Good Morning, the Australian DIY duo who went viral and now have to deal with fans having sex to their music. As they put it:
An album – split hooks  
After a divorce and subsequent social media dragging, Ariana Grande's new record Eternal Sunshine shows more maturity and perceptiveness than ever. But don't worry: there's still bangers.
After a divorce and subsequent social media dragging, Ariana Grande's new record Eternal Sunshine shows more maturity and perceptiveness than ever. But don't worry: there's still bangers.
A show – Moore shook  
Mary & George is a 17th-century raunchfest with poisonings by prune, lesbian affairs, murders, orgies – and Julianne Moore. According to our critic: "It is magnificent." On Binge.
Mary & George is a 17th-century raunchfest with poisonings by prune, lesbian affairs, murders, orgies – and Julianne Moore. According to our critic:
This week's fishiest stories
Trout's horror  
Iconic fish's "hideous" pink makeover leaves town seeing red.
Iconic fish's
Carp diem  
At Narrabri's annual invasive species muster, the stench is overwhelming.
At Narrabri's annual invasive species muster, the stench is overwhelming.
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Lenore Taylor

Editor, Guardian Australia

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