Hi John,

Has someone ever given you a poor impression of Crucial Conversations? They claim to be skilled in dialogue and recommend the course, but then they bulldoze their way through disagreements? Today’s Q&A suggests you’re not alone.

And don’t miss the promo below. Register for a 2024 in-person course by December 31 this year, and you can save $200.
When Someone Thinks They're Good at Talking but They're Not
by Justin Hale

My supervisor says that she uses the skills taught in Crucial Conversations. However, she always starts a “Crucial Conversation” by being abrasive and making false accusations. She will say she is seeking the truth through dialogue, but then she sticks to her false accusations and disregards attempts to shed light on the matter. I now have a horrible impression of Crucial Conversations, but something tells me she must not be using the process correctly. What am I missing?

Signed,
Disillusioned

You’re not missing anything. You are spot on. It seems your manager is not using the skills correctly. It sounds as though she is mistaking holding a Crucial Conversation for holding an effective Crucial Conversation. Most people go about their days having Cough Conversations all the time, but that doesn’t mean they’re handling them well.
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Crucial Conversations® for Mastering Dialogue

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I learned to look more upon the bright side of my condition, and less upon the dark side, and to consider what I enjoyed rather than what I wanted; and this gave me sometimes such secret comforts that I cannot express them.
 
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