Hi John,

Should you bring up old grievances with a new manager, or let bygones be bygones? Tell us what you think in the comments section of today’s Q&A.

Don’t miss the Crucial Accountability Miniseries, linked below. These free video lessons can help people at all levels of the organization but are particularly relevant for frontline managers.

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When You Have Old Conflict with Your New Manager
by Joseph Grenny

I have a new supervisor (recently promoted) and we have a difficult history. Previously she trained me, but her training was inadequate, she overloaded me with work, she demanded I complete assignments faster and faster, and she said I was making excuses if I couldn’t. Tomorrow, we have our first one-on-one and I’m worried. I want to address these behaviors right away should they show up, but I want to do so with dignity and I’m not sure how.

Signed,
Déjà vu

You’ve got three options.

1. Do what you did before.

While you didn’t say it, I assume you never fully addressed these patterns with her when she was your trainer. I infer that because you’re still holding these resentments and injustices. Had you fully addressed it and agreed on some accommodations, you wouldn’t be feeling the dread you currently express.

If you do the same this time, you won’t start fresh, and her first transgression will resurface all the old unfinished business. Your emotional response will begin where you left off…
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