1.  WI Ballot Canvass Finds Biden Beat Trump by About 20K Votes

 SAY CHEESE! 

The Trump campaign now has until Wednesday afternoon to file for a recount, but even former Gov. Scott Walker thinks Biden’s lead is insurmountable.

2.  Giuliani Is Asking for $20K a Day to File Failing Lawsuits

  OF COURSE 

The former NYC mayor, however, denied the allegation and said whoever made the claim “is a liar, a complete liar.”

3.  This New Luxury Handbag Proves Size Doesn’t Matter

 AD BY SENREVE 

SENREVE, the versatile luxury handbag brand, just released an all-new style, the Alunna.

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4.  Ivanka’s Pal: She Said My Arabic Jewelry ‘Screams Terrorist’

 ‘THAT THING’ 

“How does your Jewish boyfriend feel when you are having sex and that necklace hits him the face?” Ivanka reportedly asked her friend.

5.  Georgia GOPers Fear Trump Is Harming Runoff Chances: WaPo

 YESTERDAY’S MAN 

Republican incumbent Sen. David Perdue reportedly said that, while he supports Trump, he had confronted an “anti-Trump vote in Georgia” in the first round of voting.

6.  Drop What You’re Doing and Get an Our Place Pan on Sale

 MY PLACE, OUR PLACE 

This is your chance to nab a best-selling pan for under $100 before it sells out.

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7.  Pentagon Finalizes Drop in Troop Levels in Iraq, Afghanistan

 DROPDOWN MENU 

Christopher Miller, the recently installed acting defense secretary, hailed the reduced levels as “the next phase of our campaign to defeat terrorists.”

8.  Spike Lee’s Next Creative Erection: A Musical About Viagra

 CUE THE WOODWINDS! 

Consider our interest piqued.

9.  ‘West Wing’ Actor Richard Schiff Hospitalized With COVID

 BATTLING 

Currently starring in “The Good Doctor,” the 65-year-old actor said last week that he and his wife had tested positive.

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10.  ‘You Lie’ Rep. Scolds Obama for Saying He Wanted to Hit Him

 LOUD IN THE PEANUT GALLERY 

Rep. Joe Wilson (R-SC) insisted the former president “should know better than to advocate for violence.”

11.  Ohio Guv Announces New Curfew After COVID-19 Cases Spike

  GROUNDED 

Starting Thursday, residents of the Buckeye State will have to stay at home between 10 p.m. and 5 a.m. for three weeks.

12.  Huge New Study: COVID-19 Immunity Could Last Years

 GOOD NEWS 

The study hasn’t yet been peer-reviewed or published in a medical journal but is the biggest study of immunity to date.

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13.  NYC Funeral Home That Put COVID Victims in U-Hauls Shut Down

 ‘EGREGIOUS VIOLATIONS’ 

Authorities shuttered Andrew T. Cleckley Funeral Services after first discovering the bodies in April.

14.  Conan O’Brien Is Saying Goodbye to TBS and Hello to HBO Max

 NEW BEGINNINGS 

The legendary late-night host has been retooling his TBS program for quite some time—but now he appears to be starting something entirely new.

15.  SpaceX Capsule Delivers Crew to ISS 262 Miles Above Idaho

 MISSION ACCOMPLISHED 

It’s the first time Elon Musk’s company has delivered a crew for a full half-year stay.

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