Contemporary Christian Artist Matthew West recently debuted a new single addressing his daughters. The title?

“Modest is hottest.”

West certainly isn’t the first person to make this claim. Sharon Hodde Miller wrote for Christianity Today ten years ago about the damage that phrase can cause. The point is neither to pile on West nor to toss the concept of modesty to the wind. Rather, it's time we reframe these discussions completely.

In “Dads: Put Down the Shotguns and Let Your Daughters Go,” Hannah Anderson explores this possibility.

“The best way to grapple with the changing dynamics of the father-daughter relationship is not to try to stop a daughter’s growth or to chase boys away but simply to embrace the change,” Anderson writes. “This requires a vision of a woman’s life that goes beyond her being handed off from one man to another. It requires understanding daughters not as the pets of their fathers but as pillars in the palace of God who are vital, strong links between generations in both this life and the life to come.”

Our daughters—and our sons, for that matter—don’t need us to tell them that modest is hottest. They need us to tell them that they are beloved, precious, and made in the image of God. Their growing up is not a threat, but a gift. And by God’s grace, it’s one that we can find ourselves privileged to behold, even when we’re sad to watch them grow and go.