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1. Marco Rubio Sighs Heavily as Trump Explains Gaza Plans
🙄
The secretary of state accompanied the president as he discussed his “development” plans with King Abdullah II of Jordan.
POLITICS
2. Kendrick Lamar’s Drake-Centric Set Is Most-Watched Halftime Show Ever
TOUCH DOWN
It comes as Super Bowl LIX also earned record-high ratings.
MEDIA
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3. Beyoncé Fans Melt Down Over Cowboy Carter Tour Presale
HOLD YOUR HORSES
Beyoncé fans took to X to complain about their struggle to obtain tickets.
OBSESSED
4. Storm of Earthquakes Prompts Exodus From Greek Island
SHAKEN TO THE CORE
More than 13,000 of the 15,500 residents of Santorini have left after thousands of tremors.
WORLD
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5. Bannon Avoids Jail Time in $25 Million Border Wall Fundraising Case
WALL OF LIES
As he left the court, Bannon told reporters he felt “like a million bucks.”
6. Al Roker’s Ex-Wife Alice Bell Dies at 77
REST IN PEACE
The couple married in 1984 and split 10 years later.
7. Facebook Co-Founder Launches an Angsty Substack
SCHOOLED
Chris Hughes claimed that Trump and his allies will “handicap government.”
8. New GOP Bill Would Let Trump Rename Greenland ‘Red, White and Blueland’
PATRIOTIC
Great news, folks.
9. FEMA Workers Told to Flip a Coin to Determine Who Has to Return to Office
DESK ROULETTE
The agency does not have enough desks for all of the employees ordered back under Trump’s return-to-office edict.
10. Two American Tourists Bitten by Sharks in the Bahamas
VACATION FRIGHT
The young women’s dream vacation turned into a nightmare when a shark attacked them.
TRAVEL
11. Trump Rants About New Weird Fixation: ‘SINKS, SHOWERS, TOILETS’
MIND IN THE GUTTER
In a wild rant, Trump blamed Joe Biden for the decline of American bathroom appliances.
12. ‘Fox & Friends’ Co-Host and Chiefs Fan Doocy Forced to Wear Eagles Jersey
FLY, DOOCY FLY
The studio crew had Philadelphia’s fight song cued up for the humbling moment.
13. Woody Allen Has Found an Actor to Defend Him—With His Own Unfortunate Past
CANCELED CLUB
Asked if he’d work with Allen, the actor said: “If I say no... then all I’m doing is saying, ‘I believe in this system that cancels people.’”
CULTURE
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